Friday, August 03, 2007

Amsterdam was cool

Well well, it's been about 2 weeks since i've strung some words together into sentences that might make any sentences or sense.

I’ll start off by saying I woke up this morning thinking, ‘Where the fuck did I leave the mackrle’ and truth be told, now that I’ve had a cup of tea and watched a bit of a program about how the fall of Greece was communicated and how Napoleon liked to communicate, I’m thinking ‘Where did I put the mackerel’, Where oh where.
I got it for free in a pub yesterday afternoon

Well there either in Cummins kitchen across the road, about a 10% chance of that, or down in Roy’s beer garden about a 110% of that one, ‘Doesn’t make sense’ you say, I know, I know !

I have lots of notes on the last 2 weeks, the first note is ‘Doms birthday’ and yes it certainly was. So we went to Amsterdam to celebrate Sue and Noel having sex 21 years and 9 months ago, was there a lot of alcohol consumed you might say, ‘I’d certainly hope so, it’s much more fun anyway’

Well before I go any further it’s probably worth noting that I went out with Hughie the night before, we had a few, lost him or he lot me, I’ll give him a ring later to clarify this one, actually I rang him yesterday, conversation went along the lines of

ME: Hello is Hughie there?
Someone in Hughie’s house: No, goodbye
Phone hangs up
Me: ????

It happened just like that, I’ll call again to see if their telephone skills have gotten better.

Back to Amsterdam, no before all that, the mother drove us to the airport and the highlights would include the mother telling be when I got home the night before ‘Do you have your passport’, after much searching a bag was retrieved from the car with passport, put it on the Kitchen table

Off we went to the Airport, got to the airport, mother got petrol (Cars drink that stuff) and I realized the passport was at home (remember before it was in the car) off home we go.
Coming back to the airport on the roundabout before the tunnel the car conks out, so we are out pushing the car on one of the busiest roundabouts in Cork, Dom is on the phone to his mat that has a car that can do 200km an hour and the car starts and we are off again.

Got to the Airport and the ATM took my card and wouldn’t give it back, I waited and waited then it gave it back, what a relief

Back to Amsterdam had some Philosopher Stone mushrooms, 2 days in fact
The first day we went into the Sex Museum, what a laugh !!!

On one level you had Snow white and the 7 dwarfs with a really nicely painted room, with (No joking) cartoon porn going on 2 TV’s. So anyway I was off having conversations with Snow White (Maybe I fancied my chances, looking at the competition, maybe I was right)

Me: What’s up with your friend there, he’s looking a bit grumpy, and so on and so forth, trippin’
In fairness, I did try and leave that room 3 times, but could not do it, had to come back every time, until there was nothing more for to go up, upwards and onwards, for Ahhhhh, No!! More of the same stuff again.

I remember thinking ‘Where the hell are we again?’, after a while ‘Oh, yeah, the sex museum, fuckin hell’, it’s true we were. From there on in, everyone was made of Bananas (This is true)
Walking around outside later, me ‘Sex show, I would have never thought of that’, where am I again, oh yeah the red light district, the mother did say we were some pity.

Not the redlight district

Went on a Pizza cruise (Dom had the photos of that) very nice, and the Heineken experience, the Guinness tour was far far better.

Joined Facebook, was chatting with a Heidi (Hello Heidi) from Amsterdam, didn’t meet up with her. Maybe it is all part of Gods play, might have to start talking with him again.
I did have some good conversations with my self in Amsterdam though, I was having a good time. I have since stopped, I think I’m getting boring or something ?

Amsterdam is very like Sweden in that they love technology and cycling around in very old bikes, and even talking on their mobile while cycling, yes they have mastered the art of multitasking.
It would be funny to see Italians do that, some of them need to wave their hands to talk, might be a few crashes there.

Didn’t book accommodation for the Saturday and Sunday, but I managed to hook up with a Scottish guy Will and stay at his place, the alternative was partying all weekend or getting the bus or train in the direction of Paris, but for £50 I stayed with Will and did some sleeping, which I really needed and did. It was nice.

View from Wills balcony

Will the chancer was making this bed up in the loft of his apartment.
Him: ‘I’m just changing the sheets’
Me: (Thinking, yeah right, he just told me he hasn’t done any washing in ages) and I was right, I needed sleep and didn’t give a shit either way.

I was in one of the nice coffee shops before I left and witnessed an Israeli guy faint (he was low on Sugar) his friends thought he was dying and were punching him and nearly smashed the place up.

The girl gives them 2 sugar drinks, doesn’t charge them, this happens 10 times a day for her, ok everything is coming back to normal, they are very happy he is still alive, then they want another one, ok, but this time they have to pay the £2, their response is, ‘I thought it was free, no thanks’ and walks off, hard to believe. Guess he wasn’t worth £2 after all.

Went to the Van Gough museum, Dom was feeling a little under the weather.

The first night we were hanging out with a guy from Boston, most of the time Dom and himself were rapping away, I think they were talking English, I think, everyone was made of bananas, whatever language that is.

Went to the live Sex show, Dom’s comment had me in stitches
Dom: (Looks at very seriously and says) ‘I don’t know how they do it boy’

Because it being his birthday, he felt the need to go to the highly recommended ‘Banana bar’ for 1 hours entertainment, entertainment consisting of
1, All you can drink for 1 hour
2, Eating a banana out of a chicks crotch (They do say that fruit is you, now I think that is very true
3, Large dildos shooting out of vaginas, any midfielders out there ?
4, Oh yeah a face massage with a pair of breasts, yeah 2 of them!!

Met a chick, who was a rep for Orange (Mobile phone company), and she brought her clients there.
I was telling her that the banana bar wasn’t tax deductible, how could you negative gear something that funny?

But the best of all was they wrote Dom a postcard, not using their hands, very talented girls. The funniest bit the writing they did (not using their hands) was better than my handwriting. I was asking them if they tried copying any Van Gough paintings, I was impressed.

Dom left (Bye bye Dom) I went on a cycling tour of Amsterdam, very cool city.
Took pictures of Ann Frank’s house and line to go in, I didn’t feel like waiting hours to see the inside of a cupboard and she wasn’t even at home. Didn’t think there would be a ‘Go on let yourself in and make yourself a cup of tea’ note stuck to the door.

Annes place

Left Amsterdam on the 3.30 am train, but first I went to ‘Cheeky Mondays’ drum an bass club until 2.30am and saw some people I knew, I was becoming a local

I had a good time, then it bye bye Amsterdam

This is the part I call crazy transfers to Genoa with my alarm clock going off 10 minutes before my train stop
Left Amsterdam at 3.35 am, change at Rotterdam to Brussels, change train station (I had to figure that one out myself) then on to Paris
Change to North Paris, taxi to Airport, phew 30 minutes to spare, flew to Genoa

Now I know if I asked in the pub about the Mackerel , the response would be ‘That was fuckin’ you!!!’

I’m saying nothing !!!

To be continued …………

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