Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Danes are very pratical people

The sun never went down while i was in Denmark, there would always be a light in the horizon and at 5.30 it would be bright again. Very strange.

I didn't see any fights, there never is, they have 130,000, with no trouble, only in Denmark, not in Ireland, in 2000, 8 people died at the Pearl jam. Afterwards there was some fighting, then everybody was hugging each other.

I was talking to a guy from Norway, he told me he got into a fight with a small Irish guy and he wouldn't stop fighting, he just kept going, he was probably wondering 'When does the hugging begin?', not in Ireland. He also told me guys in Norway learn english from Eastenders, Snatch and Lock stock and 2 smoking barrels, i thought he was joking and later some Norwegians came over to talk and were quoting the movie scenes perfectly, at least they know what 'Pikies' are.


Emma from Gothenburg, i met last year in New York,

She was queuing up for a beer, apparently i looked the same, which is funny because in New York i had my beard and hair shaved, all off!!!!

I was hanging out with some Danish guys before Radiohead, one of them said to me 'Your penis is very ugly', i look down and the stitching from my shorts had broken, everything was hanging out, what a laugh, maybe he had a point too.

I told some of my neighbours this, and they said they wanted to tell me the same thing, they dont learn to say that sort of thing in English classes in Denmark, stitched it up next morning, case closed.

I met some nightclub owners at the Radiohead concert, cool guys, got a beer off them too, very cool.

There was a riot in camp L, L for Langerland i suppose, one to remember, speaking of Langerland
Reminds me how some people i know would look naked, how lovely!!

If your a female or male in Denmark at a festival and you've had a few beers (everybody does) and you need a toilet (they are everywhere), no problem squat (if your a girl) or pull it out (if your a guy) and go anywhere near a wall or tree, no one looks or cares, you wont be on the front page of the Sunday World (Listen up if you are a member in the royal family)

They are very practical people, very.

After the festival the place would have needed a lot of rain to get rid of the smell (I'm talking to you God, if your really there).

They could have used the camp as a film location for some movie where a Hurricane hits some camp site.

They had a skate competition too

I walked around with my Mexican Chivas soccer shirt, good way to meet people, the shirt is very like a shirt for some Danish Champions in the North of Denmark.

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Van Dam camp had a party

Posters to posers at the Festival

Every camp at the Roskilde festival had a name, my camp's name was..... i didn't have a camp name, just a tent, and I'll get to that too.

The 'Van Dam' camp put on parties every night, they spent 14,000 Kroner (1,877.63 EUR) renting a sound system for one week, out of their pocket, these people do this every year and they got DJ's from Copenhagen. I like that!!

Van Dam camp

For the Danish school kids it's a kind of rite of passage, finish school, go to the festival with all your friends, drink beer for one week and trash your tent and talk about it for the next year, do it all again until all your friends have grown up and have to go to work and mind kids, but you go anyway and all the people you observe are much older an you feel old and warm beer doesn't taste so good for breakfast and you own kids end up going and you start your speeches (that no one listens to with) 'In my day....', then it occurs to you, your just like your parents and you look for the paper to see the Obituary's to see who's died this week and have an early night.

and then there's the rain, last year they got 1 months rain in 1 day.

The Chilli peppers headlines, they apparently came from some other festival and were drunk and on drugs, boo hoo, they killed the rock and roll.

On the last night, i got back to my tent for a sleep from a DJ group called 'Digitalisim' and there was 3 new windows in my tent, so after asking some of my neighbours what happened, beer was on the cards, 2 hours later than planned i went to sleep, it was a great way to meet people.

We saw some guy pissing on the door of a porta loo, all he had to do was open the door, he didn't have to close the door.

I even caught 2 guys in the process of looting my tent


So with the new modifications (3 new doors) on my tent, i later tried to get into my tent (or poles with some fabric) and the zipper was stuck, i had to laugh.

I could have gotten a free tent if i was a thieving gypsy (and there was a few around) with all the tents that were left behind.

A chick i met in New York October last year went to her tent and found that it was gone, everything, she said she had too much stuff anyway, no big deal, i needed a new tent as the zipper was broke, deal or no deal? No big deal.

Tent with modifications

The site was resembling a refugee camp, i pointed this out to a First Aid worker the next day, i told her if she ever wanted to know what it was like to work in Africa, it would be cleaner than that site, i'm pretty sure African people wouldn't piss on a toilet door either :)

Star date 208.2457841.Roskilde festival

The writing is not on the wall

Met some Danes (i wish i could say they were crazy, but no) and they had an Irish flag flying, but the funny thing is they had no idea who put it there, but after the hellos, it didn't matter what was flying, bras and knickers? No, just flags....sadly)

Chemical brothers, great visuals !!!

This one had the roast beef

Called into a camp at the festival flying the Irish flag, no one knows how it got there, one of life's little mysteries, the Bermuda triangle is nothing, the Danish were scratching their heads (maybe they had lice?)


I met a Swedish guy and he was telling me they seem to think that Irish people are never sober, yeah, we don't get drunk, we're just never sober, at his school they have an Irish flag and some Irish song they sing when they drink, well it's nice to know they are thinking of us, i'd doubt any Irish kids are doing the same, maybe when the Vikings give us back all the beautiful women they stole, maybe then, but not until.

Interesting enough, Denmark apologised to Ireland for all the trouble they caused with their raping, pillaging and the like and said 'Sorry', Viking time line.

The Sea Stallion is on it's way back

It ok America, just dont do it again

Poetry, dont forget to look down!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Everybody needs a Sneachta

The new love of my mother's life, who says money cant buy you happiness? The whole family loves little Sneachta (Irish for snow) O'Callaghan, the cutest dog we have ever seen.

Camping in Denmark
Lesson 1, when you camp in Denmark it's worth putting the tent up properly, this includes putting the tent pegs in properly, because as much as the Danes like to party, they like doing things properly, there are traces of the German's through them (i still like them)

I did not put my tent pegs in properly, so someone (it's always somebody called someone, and when i catch him!)

I get back and my tent is sideways, it posed a challenge in how was i going to sleep sideways and to make matters worse, some girls had put their tent where my tent was, i had to see the funny side, with my tent being on it's side.

It made a good conversation opener 'Er, guys, what happened here ?'

So, the lesson is put the pegs in properly, then at the end of the festival some people burn tents and cut their own tents up, but that's at the end, the end...........

Lots of this at the Roskilde festival

Lots of skinny guys in Denmark, it must be the only place in the world where the guys are skinnier than the chicks and of course they ALL love to smoke, more tax might be needed here.

One town in Denmark is trying to have the smoking laws reversed, i have heard they defy the ban by smoking in smoke free places anyway, but the funny thing is they all look pretty healthy, maybe it works for them.

They don't seem to need food, just fags, maybe they have vitamins in their cigarettes, sounds good, eh? Seems to work too.

Denmark is very cheap.....if you are from Norway, so the Norwegians come down and get very pissed, you have to be rich to get pissed in Norway, so they think Denmark is cheap, nothing is good or bad, only thinking makes it so, according to Shakespeare anyway, i learnt something from a dead guy, i think.

Oh yeah, every year someone (there he is again) from Norway of them dies from drinking too much, there are dangers with things being expensive.

The difference between good news and great news

Camp at the Roskilde festival

Iogged on to (no big deal you say, we have our own news sites on this side of the world, why should i care? )

I saw a title '$16,000 fine for landlord' and i thought, i'll bet that was Frank, my last landlord who stabbed me in the hand with a steak knife (that is why you should care)

Read all about him

Thats what i call great news, i got the Tax office on to him too and i got the local council to take the old cars he had parked on the street, if i did it i would get a ticket in 1 hour, he had them there for more than 3 months that i knew of.

One of many camps, it was so camp, rows of tents everywhere, all inside the line, they would be great at colouring there I'd bet!

Had a refugee camp feel to it in that corner, for our own good of course.

Went to see the Simpsons movie at the festival, it was too hot to do anything else, it rained and rained in Ireland, i was not in Ireland, it rained and rained at last years Roskilde festival.

Last year when i was in Europe (holidaying, cooking, cleaning, painting and gardening) it didn't rain much, when i got to Denmark it stopped raining, when i got back to Ireland, it stopped raining. When you book with Ryanair you dont need a sexy rain jacket, just sun tan lotion, factor 50 if you can get it

Roasting hot in the Festival, i needed mobile shade and the sarong did the job, in the evening it kept me warm, pretty handy.

One of the flags i saw at the festival was what i thought to be a Mexican flag, with that i made friendly introduction, i was told the flag was Italian, by that time it didn't matter what it was, it could have been a pirate flag, and i was drinking their beer.

Note to reader, listen up and you could learn something, the only difference between the flags is the Mexican had the eagle on a cactus with a snake in it's talons....... that is it.

Now read this picture

I get back to Cork and look out the window

Friday, July 11, 2008

Went to Roskilde for the warm up

I once read it's important to warm up, so with that off i went to the Roskilde festival, to warm up and....what ever it's not important, what is important is i was there, and i stayed there until Jay Z, i didn't want to be one of those people that went to Woodstock and fecked off early for a cup of tea and a bed time story.

This is the story........some of...........

Alien cow love and death metal

Note to reader
You might have heard a lot about things warming up of recent, global (boo hoo the penguins, 'Stop driving your killing us') or local 'Would you like some warm milk on your cornflakes love'

Note: By the looks of most camp sites, it was if people were expecting mammy to come along and clean up everything for them and why not?
She always does, not this time folks, mammy didn't come, not this time people, no mammy in sight, that means no bed time stories, just plenty of people getting pissed and passing out, hopefully in their own tents.

About 6am after the Chemical brother's gig, one of the camp parties, before they ran out of batteries (they weren't included)

So my warm up from Sunday till Thursday consisted of walking around from morning till night talking to as many people as possible, by the time the festival started i was feeling a bit worn out, how can there be more? It hadn't even begun.

Name says it all

Roskilde i was told is the exception week in Denmark where it is ok for everyone to talk to complete strangers, everyone speaks English, how hard does that sound? Too easy. You didn't need a reason to talk to anyone and everybody was like your best friend


(Disclaimer: Only for the festival though, you wouldn't go helping yourself to leftovers and a glass of milk a week after the festival because they had one of your beers!)

Funny way to crash the party

New baby in church hill, introducing Sneachta

Is it beauty sleep?

Went out and bought a pedigree Chihuahua dog. Why? My mother always wanted one, i wanted to get a boxer dog, we settled for something you can stick in your hand bag (Paris Hilton is full of great ideas) 2 feet smaller, worth every penny, now that we are in Euro, worth that too.


Did you know the Euro and the English pound are trading nearly equally, which when you think about it, makes this country really expensive, really, really.

All the dogs in the from garden with Dad

The chicken came this case

Now i will take you to a place called Denmark, 800 AD the Vikings invaded ireland from a place called Roskilde, in 2008 i went there, i was there in 2007 but sadly after the festival or maybe that was a good thing because i stayed relatively dry last year, everybody else got wet, i hope they were wearing sexy rain jackets, i wore a tight fitting birthday suit (it stretches!!)

One of many places he had found to sleep around the house

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Nothing to do time to do the write ting

Susan and Diana

So, Diana and meself left Cork, Dublin being the destination, not the city.

To start things off, we did some research about land a joining our property (sounds like a big estate), it could only be done in Dublin after dong all of that, off we went to Dalkey and checked into a B+B.

Now check it, B-boy Junior

With the advent to the Tiger economy, people in Ireland have taken to stealing land or claiming land that is not theirs, hard to believe since it's hard to move or hide, but that's Ireland for you, it's important to know where your land begins and your neighbours ends, funnily in Denmark they don't really have boundary's or fences, but they are Scandinavians, very civilized people in the year 2008, 800 BC? No crazy wild men known for raping and pillaging, how times change?

Howth, one of the Martello towers built in case Napoleon invaded to liberate the Irish

Note: Napoleon didn't come in the end, the English navy went to Copenhagen in the year 1707 and bombed the hell out of the Danes to stop the Danish king siding with Napoleon and took their ships, but that's history for you.

Stranded in Howth

We were late, this was not a good thing, but since i left my notebook at home after doing everything on my 'To do' list, putting the notebook was not on the list, i am slowly learning, slowly.

Church in Howth, Phil Lynotts removal was here

Woman in the B+B was from somewhere in eastern Europe, for Diana afraid is not the word wouldn't use (2 double negatives, you'd need to be a mathematician to figure me out half the time, and don't forget to carry the 1)

Back to Diana and words to describe the B+B host, edgy, creepy, i just dont know, words can mean anything these days, i don't know what that means? See what i mean, much better sometimes to just read the pictures.

Irish life courtyard Dublin

Something i read in the Sin E pub, you could learn more in the toilet than most good books, 'I moved the Question, next question was how do i move?'