Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Accidentally found the New York public library, so in I went to see the Kerouac exhibition

Throwing gang signs in Brooklin

I made it to my mecca, one of my heroes, i was happy, and about to get happier

So anyway, without too much foreplay, I’ll tell you what I saw.
The scroll obviously, I was able to pick out different chapters, oh what joy.
You see, Kerouac was a very fast typist, he was very proud of this, I don’t know what he might have made of Microsoft word and copy and paste.

He once typed out a poem about an Atomic Bomb in the shape of a mushroom, if you’ve got it flaunt it, I suppose.
Writing for him wouldn’t have been the easy road it is now, he had to be published for people to be exposed to his work, all I have to do is tell people my blog address, and I don’t even have to do that. It would appear some people have nothing better to do, that look at other peoples stuff, too easy. If you don’t feel like looking at the words, you can look at the pictures, or fast forward to the videos, too easy.
Don’t read this

See what I mean, if I had an editor, they would be like, ‘Don’t do that’, you can’t do that, but as Detective Callaghan (Dirty Harry to you) I’ll d what I god dam please. See what I mean, I am God !

Back to Kerouac, he considered Beethoven God, I agree wholly.
Even though he was brought up in a very racist household, he overcame that to consider Charlie parker and Luis Armstrong ‘Giants’
He encouraged William S. Burroughs to start writing

He originally didn’t consider himself much of a writer, but Kerouac told him to get a move on, and he did.
What’s interesting about Burroughs is he got a job teaching after being announced as being one of America’s greatest writers. He used to tell his students ‘When writing about something, write it in reference to the guy walking past smoking a cigarette’, apparently most of his students thought they were going insane, but they were just seeing more and experiencing more.

One of the texts of the exhibition was of a guy describing going to Canada and would write about ‘And then when I go into her’, I just came back from Canada, didn’t have quite the same experience.
Got on the subway, to come back for dinner with Ali (takeaway every day with family guy), a guy like me could get used to that sort of thing, and there’s the worry right there.

Take 2, got on the subway, there was a guy playing what I think was Egyptian music, loud enough for those not exposed to that sort of music to be exposed, you’d think that would be good, one guy shouted for him to turn it down, no take 3. Cut it and print.

You could cut the tension with a knife, everybody is thinking the same thing, lips are moving, people are imagining what they would do if all their friends were there, no one says nothing. Pretty funny, I didn’t have any music, and something is always better that nothing, it does take a while to get into Egyptian music, but when you do, you can get hooked.

All i wanted to do was walk to Manhattan, and i did it !!

Meself and Jackie throwing shapes on the dance floor
Note: When i arose from the couch next morning there was a hole in the pants i was wearing that you could stick your head in, that or, Jackie you must have very big hands, you wolf :)

So, practiced my lines yesterday (yesterday being a Monday) but first i updated my blog, yes my blog, i wrote words and put them into sentences (and you just read the pictures)

Walked, yes walked, from Queens to Manhattan, and what an experience that was, you wont find that on too many tourist guides or many people recommending it either. My friend Ali didn't know it could be done, it is possible, like i said, i did it, were you paying attention?

Jackie (this is how i spell it, i don't go for no fancy French spellings) and Ali

Got over the obvious bridge and was walking into some detention center, the guard stopped me (you'd think the razor wire would be a hint)
He tells me 'There are bad people in here', i suppose there's a slim shady in everyone, but with that place there is a bit more 'Shady' to the 'Slims'

He told me to get the bus across the street, i says ok,it was raining, then i says to meself 'Feck it, i'll walk it', so off i went and found the pedestrian 'On ramp', and off i went to Harlem.

Now in Harlem, lots of colored guys hanging out on the corner, every sentence had 'Nigger'. That's racist, hasn't anyone told them that.
Saw one guy greet his colleague on the street, with some 2 handed sign
Ali tells me, that was a gang greeting, 'Hello there' is so 'Old fashioned'

If you were white you'd be in trouble. As I'm writing this i'm listening to Steve Rachmad - Outhouse Soest, Netherlands - September, 2007

A female voice cut in in the music speaking about 'Civil rights', which brings me to 'Bill Cosby'
Bill Cosby has been very vocal recently about colored people, all the fighting for a right to be educated in the 50's and 60's and there's guys hanging out on the street that cant even talk English. Guys making millions playing sports and they cant even write a paragraph. I now know what he's on about.

I passed 116st, where in the movie 'American Gangster', he used to sell $1 million dollars of drugs a day, or was it 112 street, anyway it's the projects
The projects being high rise flats for poor people.

I walked from there to Madison av, it was like walking into a different world, passing shops selling diamonds and little poodles with their own shoes, and the shop windows, VERY NICE

In Melbourne every year, people in Melbourne line up to take a look at the Myers windows, it was like that, but everywhere, no lining up required thank you.

Stopped off on the way and ordered a falafel (i meant a kebab) and asked for chili sauce (hot sauce) and lots of garlic sauce, to which the guy says
'What is this garlic sauce' and so on, i just wanted to keep walking, 'I ended up getting the falafel' and i was like 'Oh fuck, not this', but the guy was wrecking my head, and the worst would be on the way, so i got out of there. I was thinking maybe he might have heard of this 'Fancy' sauce.

I mean if your cooking food where people put garlic sauce into it, you might have heard of it, maybe one of us wasn't speaking English no good

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Who loves yea New York, Queens !!!

Christmas in Syracuse

North American weather is murder on my scalp. When I met up with Ali in New York, she asked me if it was snowing outside, I was thinking the same thing myself (and they say Great minds think alike. Whoever they are, I would like to take this opportunity to thank them, cheers)

After Toronto I ended up staying in Niagara for 3 nights, didn’t see the point in traveling in the rain, left there with $30 or $40 of the casinos money, it’s rare you leave those places with a smile on your face, I was quick to realize this and made my ‘Big Exit’

Saw an ad on the TV for the Thanksgiving football game (American football) ‘Buckley’s, it tastes awful and it works’, pretty honest

I was waiting for the bus in Niagara and a kid comes out of his house and says to me
Him: Going to work?
Me: No
Him: Got any spare change?
Me: No
Begging culture here is unreal, can’t believe it, I’ve only ever see this amount of begging in India.

Called into a town half way from Niagara and New York, a place called Syracuse, I knew this would be a good idea as crossing into the US would take time. I wasn’t counting on the extra time it would take with the Chinese people on board.
Obviously my dandruff wasn’t a problem to them; I wasn’t seen as an undesirable and sent back to Canada .

Christmas celebrations

Anyway got there and as luck would have it, they had a hostel, great, $15 a night, lovely, old house, lovely, my own room, lovely, curfew at 11pm, Noooooooooo!!!!!!
Out I ventured anyway and as luck would have it (happens all the time) it was the night they were turning on the Christmas lights.

They were singing songs and for the first time when someone sang ‘Snow is falling all around us’ it actually was, very very nice.

Before I left I tried ‘Pecan pie’ in the local market, very nice.

Met some locals and after introductions they insisted in bringing me to the local Irish bar (and there’s a few, we’re very popular you know! )
The guy wanted a ring, one of mine, I had one in my bag, and I gave it to him, cheapie from South America.
I said to his wife ‘I gave him a ring, what the hell did you ever give him?'
Her: I gave him 3 kids
Very funny

So anyway the local guy, Gerry, goes up and orders 3 Yegar bombs and says
Gerry to bar person: ‘Put them on the O’Leary bill’
Me: Who’s O’Leary
Gerry: There’s always an O’Leary
Pretty Irish alright

The bus driver from Syracuse to New York talked a bit like Morgan Freeman and had a ‘Bad ass attitude’
He had sayings like ‘OG’, Original gangster’ for one of the travelers and himself ‘OT’, ‘Old timer’, I would have just said ‘FCBSBDAB’, ‘Fuckin Crankey Bollocks Shouldn’t be driving a Bus’

Read this in ‘A portrait of an artist as a young man’, ‘He had more cunning in the wart in his bald head that a pack of foxes’
Got to NY, tried calling Ali, no reply, turns out it was on ‘Mute’, so I checked out ‘Chelsea hostel’, will be moving there tomorrow for a few daze.

Chelsea is the hip area of NY, and the gay area, walked passed a bar that had $3 +$4 drink specials, not enough to convert me baby from whatever I am or am not or amant , but I’m listening, I’m listening!!

Ended up going to Queens (Al loves the couch, there was a high probability that she would be on it), she was on it, great success, and the Chelsea hostel is open all night, no fear of being left out in the cold at night, because it is.

Had a flashback the other day, when I was in Toronto, I met a guy from Tibet that was in Darmhsara (India) that knew the Irish woman doing the translation for the monks, and told me her husband was a Tibetan guy and ‘He’s a good guy’, I had a good time.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanks giving part 2 (Thank god)

Ali, meself, Jackie and crew (That's how we roll in New York city)

Well since there's no one around, i'll tell you this

Meself and the Aussie called into the local bar the other night to watch the band, it had a sign out front 'Band 10.30', ok so, in we went.

Some American kids (19-20) wanted to know where we were from, so anyway they ended in coming over and conversation flowed.

They were having a Whale of a time, speaking of Whales, i found this on the computer i'm using

In flowed some more American kids from across the border to experience the wonders of alcohol, so they started to have a little fun (voices are getting louder) then all gone.

Then the Aussie told me what happened:
It appears one of the locals took offense and told them to get out or go out and fight him, a bit much for a Tuesday night you'd think, they left.

The Aussie from Brisbane (Brisvegas) was asked by the owner (old guy) if he was going to go out fighting and he was dumbfounded, clearly this was all a bit too much too soon, he couldn't believe it, things went back to being all things Canadian.

It occurred to me that since the legal age in the US is 21 and just about every other western country 16 is the norm, what do you expect?

It would appear that some of them are late developers, and are learning the hard way how to behave, in Canada at least.

In India guys don't get to have girlfriends until they are 25 years or so old, and when a girl says no, it's a big knock back for them (and then some of them resort to throwing acid at women) where as in most western countries guys experience this at 13 and just move on.

I was reading this today, it appears the basketball team 'The laker's' lost recently and the opposition was asked about their plays and the coach's response was 'We call this a Brokeback Mountain game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts," Jackson said. "It was one of those games.', he got a slap for that one, naughty naughty, not supposed to say that.

Midnight Cowboy

I mean some guys get off horses feeling like they have been to Jail, thats bad enough , you wouldn't need any penetration. Maybe if you were on Sunset Boulevard and in a movie called 'Midnight Cowboy', it might have some appeal (Thinks out loud) Naaawww

Round them cattle up boy's !!! Let's take em' down to Missouri, Yeehaw !!

Thanksgiving in Niagara and i'll be having Chinese

In the Casino i won $20 and lost $10, yummy Chinese for $10, love you very long time

Flashback, just remembered the following:

The idea that Benjamin Franklin preferred the Turkey as the national bird comes from a letter he wrote to his daughter in 1784 criticizing the choice of the Eagle as the national bird and suggesting that a Turkey would have made a better alternative.

For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

Bald Eagle

With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country . . .

I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America . . .
He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.

King Bird

This letter to Franklin's daughter was written after congress spent six years choosing the eagle as the emblem of the newly formed country. While Franklin's disapproval with the choice of the Bald Eagle was evident, it is not apparent that he ever officially advocated for the turkey.

Going to Staten Island

So anyway, back to Thanksgiving, watched the Green bay packers and Detroit (With rapper voice) 'Wat up Detoit'
I could see the Indian Casino passed the big screen TV, just in the distance, on the Other side (If your in the US, your side)

For the life of me, i just don't know what the big deal is, soccer is 'The beautiful game' and if you've seen Brazilians play soccer, you know it.

In Australia the native Aboriginals call 'Australia day', 'Invasion day', good if you were white, not so good if your skin was any other color.
In Australia the colonists were dependent on ships to bring them food, some even starved to death, the Aboriginals didn't have any trouble finding food, maybe the white guys should have just asked ?

In America the 'Pilgrims' asked for help, they got help on catching eels and growing corn

I was thinking if the Native Indians celebrate Thanksgiving and what do they call it? I'm sure they would have picked something appropriate after the Indian Massacre of 1622.

Ali (comical) and myself

Snow is falling here, it's warmer in the Casino than the hostel, so most of the day will be spent there. Free Juice, coffee and tea, lovely.

The woman from the hostel told me getting to the US would be difficult and booked out, fine then, I'll stay here then. I'll leave Boston where it is and get a Chinatown bus to the nation's capital, for $20, how bad ?

News flash
Tragedy struck, yesterday, i was digging around in my bag and there was dry soup everywhere, me thinks to meself, that's strange, then i remembered the Aussie's advice 'Watch out for the mouse', watch indeed, Nooooooooooooo!!!

Don't worry, i wasn't attacked or mugged, i didn't wake up to a big hairy mouse with a gun to my head saying 'Give it up bitch', i didn't even hear a squeak (and thats all i would have heard, unless i was a cat, then i would have heard CRASH BANG MUNCH MUNCH

Meself and Kieran (He was born in Cork too)

So anyway the mouse tried a bit of 'Cream of leek' and then a bit of 'Cream of vegetable' and left the last one, i had that and it was yummie.

The mouse did his job i had the proof in my bag, i'm not sure what my job is, puny little mouse 1 point, Kieran -1 point.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

I was thinking about going to Springfield

Found this, maybe it's a sign is should go to Springfield

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting! check this out:

I found this somewhere too, and it doesn't mean anything, not yet anyway

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

Monday, November 19, 2007

I like Toronto and it likes me,if only i could give it a little pat on the ass

I'm a rodeo king, yee haw !

Here goes
Left Ottowa,was getting a bit too used to lying on the couch watching tv, might give it a go sometime, in 'Real life', but not now,not all the time right now.

So after feeling like a couch potatoe (i like potatoes), i moved on to Toronto.

With everyone telling how bad Toronto is,i wasn't expecting much, so my standards were set on low.
I was expecting crack addicts and drive by shootings, but, not so, not at all so.

Pause for a break,i've been wondering about this next bit, 50 cent PIMP,i dont speak his language, here is what he says

In Hollywood, they say there no b'ness like show b'ness
In the hood, they say, theres no b'ness like ho b'ness
They say I talk a lil' fast, but if you listen a lil' faster
I ain't got to slow down for you to catch up, BITCH

Hot box cafe in Kensington

I was in a cafe yesterday and overheard some people talking, one of the things said, 'When you point the finger at someone else's problems, you are creating 2 problem's', worth thinking about.

The Aussie guy in my room went to Egypt in May, you can now take of the Phoenix and a pyramid, while holding a slice of Pizza in Pizza hut or Burger from Burger king. So much choice, and there i was eating shish kebablike an eejit, maybe Egypt is ripe for a revisit? (Thinking out loud, feckit', there are better places to waste my time)

Went to the Christmas parade today, it'sone of the best in North America, they cant say 'Happy Christmas', it's 'Happy holidays', happy indeed.

Pigeons get some heat in Toronto, humans do the same too, clever humans !

Met an old priest after a scientologist handed us a flyer for free IQ test, it brought us together, well for about 15 min, thanks scientoligy.

We were rapping away about the amount of homless people sleeping on the streets, with heaps of limos flying buy, theres a bit of a void between the haves and have not, the have nots sleep over the warm vents from the subway, pretty much like the homeless kids in St Petersburg Russia and the rich people, well the rich people dont, and they dont need to improvise on heating either, they just switch it to the 'On' position.

Then i went back to Kensingston, the day floated on and on

And it continues from here.....

Back in Kensington i went to my now favourite restaurant, i have only been to one, it is called 'Hot box', blazin' place.

Irish town Quebec

Met an old trucker there, he told me how he would drive from Canada to Florida, in one shot, stopping 4 times for fuel, no sleep, and Canada to Calafornia in something like 36 hours, and he would do from 3-5 thousand miles a week, hard to believe, he did it on speed and pot, doesn't sound too safe to me

He once got stuck in Ohio in a snow storm and was rescued from his truck after being stranded for 4 days

Friday, November 16, 2007

Happy 101 posts to me

Comes as quite a shock to me, but it appears as if this is the 101 post.

Hmm, a pattern should now be apparent as to how i have come along. I can imagine all the profilers out there busily scribbeling on their note pads.

To those profilers out there i would say, dont worry, i have no intention of being a serial killer of any sort, i dont even intend on killing that many more brain cells, scouts honor.

I'm in Ottowa and it feels very nice, and i was wondering why ? Why indeed, then it became clear.

They are playing Earl Klugh in the streets and from flash backs of Oz, they play Classical music at the train stations, why, why, why you say.

Earl Klugh

Well it would be appear that kids who like to hang out dont think Classical or Earl Klugh is very cool, they vote with their feet and go somewhere else, this is what the adults want, the kids want 50 Cent or Tupac, though kids, move on.


With this being the case, the amount of gangbanging is greatly reduced, it was never really popular with white people anyway. I see everybody as Pink and some are made of bannanas. Yes Pink and made of Bannanas of all differnt sizes and shapes, which actually do exist in Sri Lanka, i know this because i saw them (i'm not making it up, you must believe me)

You dont believe me ? well feck off here then
You do believe me ? Great lets continue

Since the EU has regulations on the fruit sizes and shapes, what would they make of it all 'Pink and made of Bannanas of all differnt sizes and shapes'
Cull the lot, and feed them to the pigs ?

Oh i can just hear the screams, the screams, have mercy !

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Quebec was memorible, for some, me too

Burlington sunset

Speaking of Quebec, went there this afternoon

We take up the story in Ottowa, and you see if you walk over the bridge (people do this sort of thing if they have nothing to do), i had nothing to do, nothing of note. The morning highlights included getting up, making salad, eating half, going for a walk, wanting a coffee and donut, finding a Tim Nortons (Canadas answer to Duncan Donuts). Tim Nortons has just as many cops too.

The line was a bit too long, so now i'm doing this, and this, and thinskkhghgtry7yut.
Doesn't make sense, does it ?

The truth

Highlight's of Quebec would include hanging out with Jon, Lucy and Lorenzo in the old town and posing for pictures and more pictures, looking at pictures, painted ones, very nice.
'The more i see, the less i want' comes to mind

Went went into some exhibition that required 'Hard cash' to walk around and read stuff, by yourself, to learn things, no thanks. I come from the Baywatch generation, learning things by yourself is for nerds.

In the 'Suggestions box', Ann wrote a comment, and signed it 'Lucy Lu', I wrote 'Everything is in French. I dont understand nuttin', and i still dont.

Boston sunset

Met up with a guy from Wales living in Texas, his room mate brought a girl home the night before i met him and his buddy passed out. So, with that she hops into bed with him, sounds like a pratical girl, dont you think ?

Would you like to live here, pretty safe dont you think ?

Went out Saturday night and saw a really good band and then went to the favourite bar on St Jean, very nice people, good times.

Switched to the Independent hostel, upon checking in, it was reccomended to me to go to Tadoussac for 'Well watching', ok so i says, upon further investigation conducted with the 'Outside world', i discover Tadoussac is good for 'Whale watching' and they aren't even there now, so i went to Ottewa, i am here, where are you ?


Had anther 'Dose' of 'Poutine' on Saturday night, nasty stuff at 4am, your body will never forgive you for it, well maybe in 2 weeks.

Met Andrew from Melbourne in the independent hostel and we went to the bar on St Jean, here's what i learnt.
'You have to lose yourself, to find yourself', you were here (and didn't know it) and now your here (and you do know it).

Google maps says 'Results 1 - 10 of about 4,024,906 for finding myself '

Well anyway Andrew was telling me how he had everything robbed in Hawaii, was punched out, didn't eat for 2 days, shoplifted a small bit of cream for a rash he got, got caught (too physicaly weak to run)
He got transported 220 miles to a prison by a cop with a blond mullet, travelling so fast that other cars looked stopped, with Guns and Roses blaring 'Welcome to the Jungle.
I love it, he said it was his best ever car ride, and he was wearing handcuffs, not the kinky kind.

Other things i learn't.
Everybody is the same
I'm no better or worse than anyone else
What matters is how you deal with things
Don't let things build up and then explode
Everybody can fall of the rails, just say sorry
Dont do or say anything you wouldnt do sober

Wine anybody ?

and my favourite 'No one can do anything to you that you are already doing to yourself

Learning lots, hopefuly i will start retaining knowdledge and not water, hamburgers and donuts and the like

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Nothing good here, not even a picture to read

Quebec will look great on hir birthday, when all the renovations are done.
I wonder what kind of birthday will it be ?

Would it be one of those kids birthday you get at MacDonalds where everybody gets a happy meal with a toy, a toy and it`s not even Christmas.

Would the town get no homework ? Or would it be just a bunch of adults standing around reminising on the Napeolion wars and where France went wrong.

I`m betting it will be none of the above and a very civilized affair, the kind of thing i`d never get envited to and if i did, i wouldnt be envited back, but then the part 2 would be in a 100 years and i`d be dead by then, unless i was cloned, and the clone wasn`t envited, i dont care either way, i didn`t want to go anyway. So there!

On second draft, you get an image, you`ve earned it

Went looking for the bubble bath that washes off sin that i saw last night while hanging out with the smokers, one of them was a self confessed OLD model, you could add has a few issues to boot, but i suppose she was a product of her profession.
Beauty is skin deep and uglyness runs to the bone

I was thinking about the speeches for the 100 year anniversary some around here must be in the midst of writing and the amounts of paper in the scrap heap with the following open lines

`It pleases me standing here today` lame Start again
`I would like to say` I`m already saying Start again

Thats what i was thinking about.

Went button shopping, and had a great time

My first Canadians game, Player of the year trophy

Yesterday i decided it was time i put a button on my jeans by way of manual labour
So....with the task and budget defined i set off out to the mean streets of Quebec.

I went into any shop, missed a few and then went to other`s that wernt shops, it coming into winter and not many tourists around, conversation was flowing, to and from my direction.

Ìt appears that people in Quebec like to talk when they become bored, fine by me.

Street art

Got hints on going to Mexico, it would appear, when you want a taxi in Mexico, you ask for `Not a taxi`, or just a `Collectivo`, the difference being in a Collectivo, the price can be much much lower and the taxi drive gets to stop for other people.

If been in public buses, train`s and even travelled with chickens, pigs and a few tonnes of coconuts, so i`ll remember that one.

This was taken in Canada (Quebec)

Ended going into a second hand store in the end i was told she had a jar of buttons, no jar was to be found, but what to be found was a pair of shoes, when i saw them i said to myself, I`m having those`, so in the end, i took out the shoelace from my old shoes, used it to tie my jeans together (Worzel gummage eat your heart out), i now know why people like shoping so much, it is lots of fun.

Worzel Gummage

Friday, November 09, 2007

Cold Cold in Montreal and nice too, can you believe it ?

Covered bridge in Conways, just like in the movie 'Bridges of Madison County'

One of life's hidden secrets revealed itself to me a while back, in the shape of a little paper, in a fortune cookie
It said 'The laws sometime sleep, but never die'. Which i suppose is true, when you think about it.

I found it in my bag a while ago, and now i'm thinking about it again, twice the value, and now your reading this, everyone benifits, but will you heed the advice, or will you let your brain guide you ?
Will you sometime soon say to yourself 'Gawd, i wish i listened to the cookie', time will tell.

Went out last night and after having one beer, walking back saw a heap of young people standing by a door,so i says to myself 'I'm young, why i dont i go and stand by the door', just to be cool and hip, after all i am in a new country, and standing by a door could be the 'In thing' so anyway i did. It was for a club, lovely, in i went'

But first, i needed to pass the security, they sometime pose a problem, but first they were busy explaining to 3 girls that they were too young, id's were checked, but no is no, but in French, it would sound a bit snooty (Note to reader, i cant
remember anyone ever saying no to me, memory fails me at the best of times, so that's not saying much)

Now imagine the scene, it's very cooooollllddddd, very, standing at the door, a full explanation is being given to the 3 girls, very civilised stuff here folks

Met a girl at the door while waiting, she seemed to have forgotton to wear clothes, she in a miniskirt and a little singlet, the price of fashion. My balls were frozen
she did not have this problem.

Someone told me in Blackburn in the good old UK all the girls go out like this too when the Blackburn football tema are out.

No football's were in sight.

Very cool club, the lights would drop about 10 feet and had all sorts of cool stuff going on.
Free entry, student night, havent got the Student card anymore and the drinks are cheaper than when the grown ups are out.

Got back to the Hostel, and they have a little rule and it entails.

Until you show them your card, they wont let you in. It would appear there are crazed murders lurking in Quebec, in freezing tempertures, i'm sure they wouldn't be standing in the cold, not Quebec cold (and it gets down to -50).

You'd need a blow torch to defrost your balls if you were out very long, i'm starting to see the diffrence between French Canadians and Canadians

I call the next part. 'A clash of personality's'. Strange that they wouldnt just have a guy to open the door. It is very COLD here. If you got locked out, you could die.

I get in and the 'I do things by the book receptionist' is giving out to me. It appears they would let you freeze to death if you havent go a card, i think she just needed a long hot 'Session' with a man. She was cold, the room was warm.

I digress

If i had a house here, i'd call it the 'Maison Derrier', that was going through my head today as i was walking in a park. If anyone asked me what it meant, i'd say 'It's French' and if they wanted to know more 'I'd say, oh, there's too many words in the French language to know them all'
Well anyway that's what i was thinking in the park, i must be insane.

Quebec is having their 100th annivesary of the landing of the Lindenberg and lots of work is going on, the place is going to look brand new, like blood was never spilt on the street and guys were hacked to death, none of that, just happy faces,
what happy times we live in, eh?

I call this section 'Cooking and living'
Today i cooked, this is just something i like to do, i'm no Gordon Ramsey, since i've had a Poutine or 2 and i'll
explain this later, ok i'll do it now

It's like food a 13 year old thats never cooked before would cook and then leave pots and pans all over the kitchen for his mother to cook and then watch TV, but it is good, especially in the cold, where you burn calories just breathing

Todays recepie
Free Bacon and Carrot soup

Get the bacon marked 'Free' from fridge
Is it passed it's use by date? No, lovely, proceed to the next step
chop into little bits and stick in pot and turn it on, the pot, on the gas
After 2 minutes, pour in enough (how long is a piece of string) water
Add soup mix
Have a 2 minute conversation
Time conversation by tapping you feet at 1 second intervals 120 times

Now eat, sounds yummy doesnt it ?

As George Bush would say Mission Accomplished

Finished Tattoo

Note skin bleimishes from something in the US, dont feel like paying some doctor whos just going to do a google search to find out

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Left Montreal, but i`ll be back

Needs a black glove, dont you think ?

Got on a bus, not just any but mind you, but a bus to Quebeck. But first i got a return ticket,it cost $77. I remember thinking Ìt had better be feckin good`and is so far. Quebeck seems like a classy kind of a place or in other words, `No strippers, and there isnt. Not unless some tourist feels like running around in their birthday suit and let me tell you, it`s much too cold for that carry on.

Highlights of Montreal would be the Aussie army guy, spending 19k in 2 months, him saying at 12pm `I`m not joing out tonight and spending $150` and in the morning hearing how he went out and spent $200, he was telling me he only had
1 girl in 14 night`s in Montreal. A career low for him, he`s now off hunting greener pastures in New York city

New york lock up your daughters (and some mother`s)

Canadian Habs won, 2 out of 2 ain`t bad. Found a very nice place for home brews called `Beer topia` and it was Honey beer, Maple nut beer, Scotch beer, some other kind of beer, hmmmmmmmm beer.

Got the tattoo finished, by Lenny from Slick Styled steel, very happy with it, that will be all for tattoos for now i hope :)

Currently in Quebec, had a strange feeling coming here, i might want flashbacks of French, but everyone seems to understand, so it`s business as usual. So i`m not getting a feeling of what it might be like to be an endangered species and there`s someone chasing me with a gun.

Which reminds me, i was talking to a Kiwi guy in the hostel and he got chased with a gun by some guy.

He was doing some running on a disused road with a gradient when he `Happened` on 2 white guys `Crackers`being mugged by 2 `Brothers`, so he backs off and what do you think happened ?

Well you`d think they would run off like they are supposed to, but one of them ran after him, now he had been running on a gradient for over 1 hour and was pretty tired, but he must have had about a litre (or 1000ml to some) injected into his system and he took off like his life depended on it, which it probably did. He ended up knocking on some womans door with a baby (they`re all the rage now in Japan) and told her the story and was begging to come in while she called the cops.

Well the answer was no, and while he waited for the cops, he thought he was going to gat a cap in his ass.

Well anyway he got a Chineese massage next day and everything was better again, might do the same next time i`m in Mointreal first it will be All you can eat buffet $9, then massage, love you long time $5. Maybe not.

Left my coat in Montral, at the backpackers, so i guess i`ll be going back.
I called them this morning, i was talking to one of the girls on reception

Me: How will i recognise you
Her: I dont know
Me: How many fingers do you have, 5 or 6
Her: Hu ?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

A picture i saw in Wexford by a Cork Artist

Writing today is being conducted on a very slow computer and I’d say there is a 30%
chance I might lose everything written here, but it wont be a waste of time. No more
notes to go off of, diary wise, so this is of pure memory, tinted at that.

Decided to stay another night last night, Canadian Habitants are playing to night,
Why not, this is Canada after all and there’s Canadians who cant get tickets, so we are on for game 3 Tonight, so far we have had one win, one loss….. well anyway I’m going.

Met a guy from the hostel from Ireland with an interesting story, it appears he was blinded by love
And since he couldn’t go to the US legally, he would swim from Mexico, across a river infested with Alligators and snakes, but first he walked in some dangerous tropical forest for 8 hours, after swimming the river anyway and directing his guide to stay out of view from the border patrol, but first he paid $700 for this service. Then some Mexicans stole his backpack.

He walked 30 miles in the US and was within 4 miles of a town 6.4 kms to ye Europeans got picked up by the border police. He was 4 miles from hopping on a bus and he would have been gone.
The statement he made to them on being picked up was. ‘Put me in jail if you like, but give me a glass of water’ . The cops must of got a laugh off of that.

For his trouble, they stuck him in maximum security jail with handcuffs and chains for 23.5 hours a day for 1 month. Nice eh ?
On being sent home to Ireland he ordered a hooker over the net to call around, isn’t technology wonderful?
After this experiencing this, his conclusions are, he never wants to go back to America and Mexico is very dangerous, he couldn’t speak Spanish either, not such a great idea. Could be a good movie, who would you cast as an Irish guy stupid enough to do all that? Will Smith comes to mind?

Oh yeah, the chick he went to see, moved on with her life and was seeing someone else and couldn’t have been bothered with him, all’s fair in love and war I suppose, or at least I’m told.

Monday, November 05, 2007

News flash, something happened, but then something had to give

Panda rips into Kid in China, Woman squashes beer cans with her breast's and then gets fined in Australia, not a gay cowboy to be seen in Vermont.
What does it all mean? Can global warming be blamed? Is reckoning day quickly approaching? Should i be eating more junk food so that i will die before the before the world dies? If it dies who will switch off the life support?

If only there was a Doctor House for for the enviornment, he would say something like 'World you have a rare form of diabetes, take 2 of these for 3 weeks and you'll be fine. Now i need to pee'

Just like that everything would be fine and i'd be off for a slice of pizza, but since i'm not and i've had pizza. I'm here at Burlington lake for the sunset, very nice.
No hostels, got a motel with a TV. Cool town, students, my scene. 20 ubs in 1 square, irish bar called 'Irish bar', i used it as a tourish information, it did the job

Met a chick from Alaska and she pointed me in the direction of the Hosteling international, traveling isn't all that difficult all you have to say 'Hello' maybe a 'Bonjour' in French Canada.

Red sox are on top of the world, again

Well, got to Boston to watch the world series. Now Boston being the Irish town of
of America and it being red, i like red, now i am a fan. Not that i wasn't before, it's just that i didn't know it.

My note book say's 'Game 2 tonight', well game 2 came and went, then before it, it was game 4, and 4 nill to the red sox, game over, Red sox win the world series, which is more like a test match, on an American level, their world.

Went to Slaem, but i've already told you about that somewhere else, so you'll have to go there to read about it, hope you have a nice time and dont forget to close the door on your way out.

Some interesting little tid bit's. Read this last week in a book.
'No one can already do anything to you that you are already toing to youself' interesting eh ? and
'Happiness is the best revenge because it is no revenge at all' and when you think about it, it makes sense, not that i'm trying to do that, that is not the point, well not the point here anyway, not yet anyway, it probably wont become obious to me until it's too late, it's ok, i think we still have time.

Want to know more stuff ? Here goes 'Spend your money on things money can buy and spend your energy on things money cant buy' i'm sold on that one.

Well that what i learnt at white river junction, nothing else happened. Didn't spend enough time to let anything happen, which was maybe the right decision, then i went to the student town going towards Canada, blame Canada.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Met Clint Eastwood's twin

A visitor touches a light in the shape of the moon at the Tokyo Designer's Week exhibition.

Yes as you can tell by the title, you already know what i'm going to say, but i wanted to make a big impact, so that you'd be ready for the news, good news at that.

One of my heros, growing up (I wasn't always this size you know), and when i finished growing up, i started growing out, then in, then out, gust like a squeeze box.
I met Clint Eastwood's twin, oh what a joy, i was tempted to start asking him about the Sagetti western's and would he take a bullet for George 'The Decider' or 'Dictator', because he did in the movie 'In the line of fire' anyway, he was telling me about a religion that was very popular about 150 years ago, they were and are called 'The shakers', they believed in shaking to get rid of your sins, sounds interesting, i wonder did they get into limbo dancing ?
Anyway it was no sex rule, but they made great furniture, so they did create things, no social workers needed there.

Saw a state patrol officer coming out of Dunkin Donuts and i asked him what kind of car he was driving, and let me tell you, it was like talking to 'Robocop'
the walk, the talk, the car, all robocop, it would make you wonder if he ever believed in Santa Clause ?
I got a stern 'Dodge Charger' out of him then, robocop's clone drove off, very serious stuff, but he likes dunken donuts and coffee, so i suppose i can relate to him that way, but dont we all ?

Left Conways and arrived in Concord in time to hear a republican, give a speach, and after hearing him talk. Fuckin' hell, where do they get these people, do they clone them with Bill O'Reilley's sperm.
Here's what he'll do, more war, fight terrorisim, fight what, where ?
He's gong to make everything better. Thanks very much, what about healthcare ?

Tough shit in the US of A.

Peace out

Oh the Fall the fall, not a plaster or first aid kit in sight

Yellow no parking signs are extended up the side of a house in Bethnal Green, east London, in a work believed to be by the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy.

Well, there i was, in the reception of the hostel in Boston and i says to the receptionist, more of a way of making conversation than anything else.

Me: 'So, where should i go to ?'
Her: 'If i was you i'd go to Conways'
Me: Right, so, i'll go, where is it ?

After further inspection of the map i was off to the bus station and off i went to one of the most beautiful towns (in the fall mind you, in the winter you'd freeze your balls off, or if you didn't have balls as one Irish girl commented on the Paris Winter.
'Kieran, my nipples are so cold, i could cut glass with them', very handy, you could open a glass company and cut down on costs in the winter, not so handy if you have balls though ?
Back to Conway, walked around and too about 100 photos, amazing weather, couldnt believe my luck.
That night, the weather forecast guy, i was paying attention this time (I even sat up straight) said, tomorrow it will rain, and do you know something ? It did, all day too and the next day he said it will be sunny, and it was, all day.

Come to think of it, the place is called 'New England' and in 'New England' they seem to have gotten a few things right, like the weather, none of your wishy washy weather bullshit, 'Oh no here comes a flood, everybody to the Ark, where's the Fuckin' Ark ?' Do you see what i mean ?

New Hampshire is my kind of place, some people like cups of tea (at 2 if your the Queen, tell her i said hello), some people like horse riding, some cowboys like hanging out with other coyboys and camping with strange noises coming from the tent as the camera zooms out and lets it to your imagination, some people like their balls slammed on doors (this one i'm not making up)
I like the fall, whats strange is the tattoo i got in Ireland features 2 mapel leafs as they would be in the fall, anyway this place is heaven, to someone that likes the fall.

Peace out