Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Cats eating the pot, will someone smoke the shit?

Andy`s neighbour, that only see`s him as $$, is giving him the `Hairy eyeball`, maybe it`s a good thing, maybe everybody wins, who knows?

Back to the beach, saw a gay guy on the beach and his shorts said `Property of Ireland`, Hmmm.........he was Mexican too and no Dublin accent either(there are no gays in Cork)

Saw another guy on the beach and he looked like Johnny Depp out of `Pirates of the Carabeen`, with the way `Pirates of the Carabeen 3` ended they could pave the way for a 4th movie, i wont be watching it anyway so they might as well make a gay sequil, there you go Hollywood, you have my permission, go wild

Now for some advice, i`ll put this under, stuff i read in a book with no pictures

You can never get away from the mirror

From the book `A new earth`
When you feel a compulsive urge to do something, take 3 bredths and ask yourdelf, `Who`s talking?`

I heard a Mexican say `Put the coin in the air` and they were talking about a 50/50 situation, amusing.

This could be out of Cheech and Chong

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Its Semana Santa, and i am doing my best to be on my best behavour

All photos are from Found Magazine

Hey puddy puddy, come out, i want to show you something

As i just mentioned, it`s Easter to english speakers, Semana Santa, Semana being the Spanish for week, it going on for 2 weeks, since most Mexicans are illiterate why would they care, and they dont, all they want to do is drink beer on the beach, and they do.

All the best music it appears is put on by the gay promotors, even during the day, the gay guys are listening to great music and the non gays have to listen to Mexican music or the sound of silence.

This would make a lot of sense as Porta Vallarta is a big gay destination.
I`ve been heading to the gay part of the beach, it`s been working for me

I moved back upstairs on Sunday, the lords day, and i was able to keep it, until i had 2 Margaritas in me, now no more of those.

On a plus i was reminded of my favourite DJ, DJ Margaritaville, that`s the only silver lining in this cloud, and i suppose it`s better than a kick in the arse.

I`ve been able to watch some Hurling from Ireland

There`s always a guy at the games in Ireland holding a banner that says John 3:7, now here what John 3:7 means

FOUND by Paul William Roberts in Baghdad, Iraq
I spent most of 2003 in Iraq covering the invasion for Harper's Magazine and the CBC. I found this poster in the rubble of a Mukharbharat (Secret Police) training center in Baghdad, April 21, 2003. The Arabic text reads: "When interrogating a suspect, do not leave your gun, wallet, and I.D. card on the coffee table." Ba'athist ideology in a nutshell.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Send in the Clowns, the good ones only, please

Well, i was walking to the Centro and i thought of something, the $1 Marggaritas place.

Meself an Jenny met this couple the other day, young couple. She told me she was once molested by a clown, he `Fondled` her breast`s, then she proceeded to grab my `Man boobies`, now her husband is sitting across from us and she indicate for me to grab her breast´s, i decline.

She says `Whats he going to do, he`s a weedy fucker, he wont do nothing´

She seemed to have made a full recovery, and they left, then things went down hill from there. The more the Margaritas went in, the more the slim shady come out in me, time he was killed off like a South American soap opera, hit by a bus to be replaces by his good looking younger brother (in training for the priest hood) in the leading role, that ends up being seduces by the leading lady, for this epesode.

Took this in Auhus, Denmark last year

As Dr Dre would say, `Lets get ready for the next episode´

Second verse it gets worse, it gets no better than this

A hummingbird moves in to drink nectar from blossoms at the Fullerton Arboretum, California

Jenny from San Francisco VIA Argentina was telling me about a dream she had recently

She was dreaming about nun´s, yes nun´s, except these women came running out of somewhere saying `We are the sisters of perputial indulgence`, if only i could have been there.

Anyway, she was making out with the nunes, they wore brown habbits and miniskirts. The nun´s were hot, i`m told. She must have been dreaming, which she was.

Stuff i used to listen to a lot, Jason Becker

You can listen to his new stuff on his Myspace account
Kirsten was saying she`s heard more sex coming from the upstairs apartment, than she would like, bad thing, good thing? It´s something......i guess.

It was Paddys day a few daze ago, i stayed in, to be fair since i´ve been here, it´s been nothing but good weather, except Paddys day, it was overcast and raining, very irish, i stayed in and watched TV, very nice

Homer Simpson quote i like, ´All that drunken singing is ruining St Patricks day´.

Someone told me about Charles Baudelaire

And another thing

No more Margaritas early in the day, if i do that i'll be fine, i hope.

Been hanging out at a $1 margaritas place for sunset drinks, and things have been a little bit too crazy, too crazy indeed, no more, that will be all.

Rory Gallagher

America Chris was telling me about a book called 'Many lives many masters'

2 Canadians i met last week were called 'Scooter' and Ted, who the fuck calls their kids Scooter and what were they on, or what was the bet? I'd like to think there was one and they lost, so now the kids name is 'Scooter', lovely, now the kid will get beaten with an ugly stick for the rest of his life, just lovely.

Bruce Mathskie

Oscar Wilde
a good man for a quote, dont quote me on that one!

Iberian traders were the first to introduce tobacco to asia, where is Iberia?

One i wrote already, 'Trust levels are a good indicator of a countries economic growth'

Sheryl Crowe

Jennys friend from Canada, took up for a drink the other day, 5 of us in total, in a car with 2 seats, so 3 of us go on the back over the engine, with out legs hanging over the spoiler, the Canadian was driving pretty fast too especially on the corners, anybody else would have said transporting 5 people in that car was impossible, well it was time to think outside the box and he did, well done Canada.

I took Jenny from San Francisco, to a gay bar, what a crazy night

The same Canadian (he was a bit crazy) told me his mother love's strip bars, and used to hang out at a whore house all the time and was madly in love with a good looking pimp, until he got shot and she ended up hooking up with his dad, lucky for him, i guess.

His dad told him this pimp was so good looking he (the dad) would have had sex with him, hmmm, seems like a strange type of dad to have?

Thursday and Tuesdays madness is over

Zip a dee doo dah, zip a dee day

Oh hello, i didn't see you there.

Well since the last time i 'Seen you', i updated my blog, now i'm doing it again, i normally feel a little better when i read back over it when i'm 40 sitting at a desk somewhere, thinking about how i haven't done nuttin in my life and going on a holiday, hopefully by that time i will be into drinking green tea on a Friday night and possibly thinking of enrolling as a Tibetan buddist monk

But as Groucho Marx would say, 'I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member', fair enough.

Some of the last stuff i wrote here turned out to be interesting, according to Mystery the pick up artist. If you say an interesting thing, that's an interesting point, if you say 9 interesting things, your an interesting person', like whatever? Whatever indeed.

'Whatever', is a term i seem to have adopted of recent, this seems strange as i haven't been watching Baywatch, or any TV shows worth mentioning, hmmmmm.......strange

Paddys day last year, Aussies came over for cocktails

Chris from Minnisoda, in the US of A, was telling me about this Ad_hominem, a technique of instead of addressing the point, one of the parties insults the other, all of a sudden, Bill O' Reliey's interview techniques are clear

Someone was telling me about Jonathan_Lethem

Want more?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Living the life in Paso Ancho

Photos are from blogger

Flies were getting bad, maybe i was getting tasty, not sure, the only thing for it was to bring the rubbish down to the road.

I have no camera to capture `The serenity`, but i can see a mobile phone transmitter and there`s excellent coverage here, but not in the centre, where it`s needed more, you get the picture.

Which reminds me of a great Australian movie, The Castle

Every day here is perfect, if 30c is your idea of perfect, not sure how Mary Poppins would cope, `Do you have a bikini in that bag luv?`

I`ve been hanging out at Cheeky Monkey for the $1 Margaritas, sooooo good!!

Crazy Josh gets kicked out of the hotel, for being loud after smoking crack and arguing with the owner, that will always get you kicked out, he wasn`t just working there.
So one of the Canadians is in the shower, Josh storms in and says `Thats the smallest weiner i have ever seen, with 2 little marbles.

The chick from SF told me how she went to crash at the Canadians place and the bigger Canadian stone maison was lying on the bed naked waving her over, she opted to sleep next to the quiet guy that opted for a all clothes approach, what was she thinking?

Went to the Brazilan BBQ with the chick from SF, Jenny, Unbelieveable meat on skewers and all you can eat, holy shit!!!

Getting pretty used to Paso Ancho, i wonder if Judy would arm wrestle me for it

It`s supposed to be all about the words now,now i don`t got no camera

A hot air balloon floats over the temple-studded plains of Bagan at dawn

Vicky Pollard, on the bus

First words in my new notebook, and since the last one was such a success, on many differnt levels, one of the most important ones being, no one will steal it.

The first words were Soap, Toilet roll and hammock, all of which were purchased (only because i wrote them down), see what i mean, very handy hammocks, you can sit in them all day......thats it and i do

Vicky Pollard, Little Britain

Highlights this week would include, i started painting the mask, to day i finished it, since no camera i have, i will have to wait until i get a camera from someone.

Today was day 15, exactly half the month of March, i survived my birthday, now all i have to do is get throught the rest of the month and get travelling again, time goes fast, so slowley.

Should be glueing the wax model of the mask back together, i`m learning things

Nearly finished reading David Sedaris

6 to 8 Black men by D. Sedaris

Still have to meet up with couchsurfer Gustavo, i`m on it, the benifits of having a mobile is someone can ring you up and envite you for a drink, that scenario is happening later, just like that, too easy indeed, but watch out for the low sperm count as a result of having that phone in your pocket!!!

Tibetan Buddhist monks are pictured during a ceremony at the historic Labrang Monastery in Gansu Province

Friday, March 14, 2008

Random stuff, no words, well not much


Interesting t shirt at a job fair

Rocket take off at night


Hard knock life

Your world, my world in 4 min

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Tell it like it is

I finished reading a book today called `Life is so good`

It`s the story of how a guy learnt to read a 98 years of age, great story

Moved on to David Sedaris

Then there`s his sister Amy, very funny

Back to me, or should i say David Sedaris, i feel very normal reading him, in the land of the constant `Cock a doodle doo`, no joke, there`s a constant stream of `Cock a doodle doo` from early morning, before the sun stick it`s head into this hemisphere till night, go figure?

If i had a bb gun and the permission to open fire on all cocks that were pissing me off, everyone would be eating grilled chicken for a month.

I choose not to get too upset, live and let live, or so they say, who ever `they` are, indeed.

My fellow couchsurfers have a blog
, everyone gets an alias in their stories, i told Andy not to bother giving me an Alias, good idea or bad idea. I told him to tell it like it is, drop it like it`s hot

It`s not like i`ll ever be elected for anything, maybe `Most likley to fall on his ass`, a sweeping victory.

Something serious......not for Mexico, something for the readers up North
Survival stuff travel-safety-channel

One note book is over, no more pages

The end

One note book is full and another one awaits......empty!!!

Last 2 pages in a note book that some thief didn`t want, i know this as he chucked it on the road. His loss really, or maybe i`m just under estimating him, i guess i`ll never know.

The day i was supposed to be moving to Paso Ancho, house on the hill with hammock st up, cheers Ms C, i was lying on the beach, working on my tan, minding the stuff for the Aussie and Kiwi, that are way worse than me, but thats Australia for you, as Norah Jones would say `Feels like home`

Then there`s `Notorious BIG`, got Andys iPod the other night and was listening to BIG after Norah, the more i think about it, i must be going mad?

Back to the Aussie and Kiwi, lets give them names, Scottie (the Kiwi) and Peter from Brisbane, the guy from NZ could have been convicted for wasting police time.

But `Time is a motherfucker, it can be great, it can be late`, he was out one night and lost, so he started dialling pizza delivery services after his taxi driver brought him the wrong way.

He rang emergency services and said he was being chased by a gang, sure enough cops rock up expecting action and they went lookiing for this gang, no one was to be found and dropped hime off at a hostel he was staying at, but not paying for, he couldn`t remember what room number he was in, so he knocked on all the doors until he go the right one and woke up a whole bunch of Asian`s in the process.

That story reminds me about the Dutch kids resently in NZ that damages a rental van and told the cops they were held up with a gun, the details will be forever `vague` in my mind, but thats no great suprise, are you suprised?

It`s the only brain i have, and beggars cant be choosers

So the Dutch kids in a way of `explaining` how the van was damaged came up with a `story` (no happy ending, bare with me)

The story contained details of how someone pulled a gun on them, good story, except the people of NZ were outraged and wanted to find the guys and know more, except there was no more, because it didn`t happen.

It was just a story and if it did happen it didn`t happen in `Real time` or `Real life` and if you say something happened, you`d better check that it happened in `Real life`, `Real time` or the past will do before you go the cops with it.

Other wise you will have problems, the Dutch guys did, oops??? No one told me!!

My notebook is full, a bit like me, and i`m house sitting for Ms C

All images are from foundmagazine

Well things have changed since i`ve last conversed with you, changed in my head more than anything else.

It now appears that i will have a choice of rooms by the time i get back to Cork, the fire still hasn`t been finished, but the plumber`s are coming tomorrow, the fire is still going in, we started when i was last back

But first, introducing Andy and Kirsten, they are `super`, without the toasted cheese sandwiches

Who are they, but my neighbours of course, i`m living upstairs, they live downstairs, which reminds me of the series, upstairs downstairs
, i used to watch it all the time, i once got the DVD out at the library and watched it once, one of many dirty little secrets.

Andy really like`s this

This week i`m filling in for Ms C, want to know more, check it out

But how am i feeling?

Friday, March 07, 2008

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so, so...........

Polar bear twin cubs born on November 30, 2007, have left their cave at Vienna's Schoenbrunn zoo for the first time.

So, after my canopy tour, i go back to my hotel, and change out of my shoes, and off i go strolling in my thongs/flip flops or just sandles.

Then i meet crazy Josh, and he wants to hang out, but first he needs an injection in his back. He told me he had a heart attack last week, when i left him last night he was about to smoke crack, a bit of a health issue there i`d say (and i dont know much about biology and it doesn`t know much about me)

After helping him with his Skype issues i`m off again, this time i`m on track to see the chick from Chicago Griese, i get as far as the corner of where she works when i meet Patty from America, she wants me to join her for dinner and a drink, i go for the drink, a birthday drink, a dangerous kind.

Then off we go to look at all the galleries, Wednesday is a good night for this and it was a blast, i walked her home, she was telling me she has pepper spray in her bag, she is after all from LA...

West coast shit

Then we go to some amazing galleries, and some more and more, then i call in to see the Chicago chick, walk her home then walk myself home.

Everytime i walk home here and the cops pass, they`re out and searching me and everyboday, it`s unbelieveable here, it`s like they really want to catch you with something so they can go out and buy a new tv.

Then i meet Josh the crazy American and it`s more partying and the like.

When i woke up this morning i was told the guy from Texas flipped out shouting in the dorm and the kid from New Mexico had him kicked out, the kid had enough and out he went, fair enough

Backpackers in empty, i`m home alone, doing art, suffering for my art, nothing is permanent

So now i need to buy a new phone, it`s much easier to meet people.

If i had just stayed with the shoes, maybe things would have turned out diffently

Someone out there has my camera, but i still have the words !!!!

Last year when my bag got stolen in South America, it was funny

Now it`s 2008, and it`s not funny, not funny at all.

I come out of crazy American Josh`s hotel last night and he bends down and says thats a nice sarong, i`m thinking `That looks familiar` and it should have been, it was mine, my bag was next to it, and notebook further up the road.

This is South America, Noooooooo!!!!! Afraid so buddy.

Just like last year in Quito, people will steal just about anything, except for old notebooks (that might or might not contain wonderful insights and sketches and the like.

So just like last year, i have to resort to words, because no one will steal them, sad but true.

Yesterday, well take a look for yourself, it was something like this

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Been a long time been a long time, been a lonlely lonely....

Couch surfer Paty

Good news in, i turned 31 and i learn`t nothing, well i`ve learn`t something, i`ve learnt that i`ll never change, not for a while anyway.

But first let me `pose` a question.
If France attacked England from behind, would Greece help?, me thinks not, they might have had the first philosophers and Democracy and all that, but now all they have is dodgy kebabs, and huge bush fires whan dome hairy guy chucks his Malbro out the window, thats it!

Couch Surfer Andy with a Mexican bass player

Met up with Paty from couchsurfing last week, for the sunset hours, walked around the Malacon,listened to music, ended up in a restaurant with the owner, drinking Tequila, i remember him telling me how he used to be a barman, waiter and crackhead, not sure of the order?

Changed hotel, i`ve come to realise that guys hammering away at the wall outside my room is not `My thing`, changed to a much nicer one.

(Directors notes, actor looks left to the sunset and says meekly)
Met a hot French Chick out walking her Chiwahah and why not? Its a free world.

Been having a few Margaritas at sunset and other times too, i could get used to this life, 30 degrees too.

Heard a guy call his dog `Fiona`, Queen of the east, and if some guy on the beach said it,it must be true.

Was going to go to Luche Libre, wanted to go with a Spanish Speaker, she bailed. Next week, i will go with some backpackers, spanish speaking not nessicary

Started doing a Sculpture class, me some Wild Ladies from South LA, one was a grandmother, she told me that i should do art if i was a Pieces, so now i`m doing an Indonesian tribal mask, and it`s coming along nicely indeed, very happy about that.

My first day the calss was supposed to be from 10am - 2pm, i went to 3pm, time flew, the teacher Sergio told me i did too much, i was thinking of a similar Japaneese tattoo in NY.

Fujin and Raijin:
Japanese Mythology, Raijin is the god of thunder and lightning and Fujin is the god of wind. Both are frequently portrayed as "oni" (demon) and are often paired together.
Raijin is associated with snakes and is mostly portrayed as an "oni" carrying the sticks he uses to beat the drums that produce thunder.

My first class had lots of kids, i was the oldest (and best), for the first time in my life i was top of my class.

Birthday came and went, went to Paso Ancho to meet Kirsten and her neighbour. I will be house sitting for 10 days while she is in LA (west west y`all), over Kirsten and Andy, a break from the beach and probably about time

I was still parting on from the night before, i survived another birthday, thats the good news.

Check out our Billy, listen up and you might learn something