Am i still in Feckin' Quito

A normally conservative Canadian goes wild on a big night in Quito



So I'm thinking, will i write something, wont i, will i, wont i, will i, wont i, alright so i will and so it begins, because as all people know, if you want to do something anything, you first have to start, and so it begins, and thats where we are right now, the start, and we're off.

Well whats happened, had a bit of a dinner party around the corner at the girls place and in disgust i came back to get some real music when tragedy struck.
Someone let in the thieving gypsies in and guess what they done did to me ? Still guessing, well move your eyes to the next line.

Ready ? I'll tell you what they did, the went and stoled my mp3 player, no big deal i hear you say, i don't like good electronic and house music anyway, but i do, thats my point.

It bad enough they stole my mp3 player, they have music no one else in the world has. What a deal, for the thieving gypsies, that is. I don't get anything, no deal for me, just tough luck, and plenty of it, oh would you like a bit more tough luck there Kieran "No no, I've had enough really, i just couldn't have even a little bit more" Tough luck, will 2 bags be enough ?

I hope so.

Well not to get all philosophical, but it could be covered by insurance, and all the music is backed up, yep all.
I helped fix an Australian chicks i pod, job done, gave her some good music, left mine charging, i didn't have to. Hung out with the girls, went to the party, came back, asked everyone, oh bollocks, it's gone, on holidays maybe, maybe I'll never know.

I couldn't be bothered going to the cops, i got my moneys worth out of it anyway, i can get all the music again, no big deal.

Got some good books, no one steals books, Fu$%in illiterate bastards, that will teach them, I'll outsmart them with book reading.

Speaking out outsmarting people. i found my wallet, in the bottom of my bag, as it turns out, i must of came home to the ship and put it in my bag, why you say. It must of seemed like a good idea at the time.

I promised Julie i would stay one extra day in Quito, and I'm glad i was able to keep that promise.
I also promised her i would go and volunteer for a day, well a half a day, but since my alarm clock was on Galapagos time, it was a promise i could not keep.

Bridget did not believe i even made the effort to go, but as it turned out, i left a banana skin on her window. But if she did not believe i even made their effort to go it couldn't have been me ? Now could it ? Nope, defiantly not me. Not my banana, you'll have to remove it yourself missus.

Columbia to morrow, I'm making that promise to myself, no excuses. I've got nothing to lose, no camera, no iriver, no innocence, nothing, I'm off.

Time to stop writing and maybe it's time for you to stop reading this, your only encouraging me. I'm off for an ice cream.

Nothing is as funny as Albatros Sex, no joke

Well well it´s that time again

What time you say, time to string a few words together, put them into sentences and try
and make sense of things, if that makes any sense.

As from the title of this story you can imagine were it is going, but we´ll get to that later.
Now, what was i going to say, well, since i left you i went on an 8 day trip around the Galapagos, and what a trip it was, except for me getting an ear infection and still popping pills and staying out of the water, luck for me someone on the boat penecillin and some pain killers, or else i was in trouble, funny how long these things take to get better.

Well i suppose that will ´Learn me´ for not taking these things seriously, but then again one of my major problems is not being able to take ´Things´ seriously, and i´m being serious obout that one folks, not sure what the lesson in the story is, but it´s there. lesson learnt. Move on, ok so.

Met an English chick before getting on the boat cruze, and as it turns out, there is someone else in the world that talks as much bullshit as me, and it´s not me or my evil twin, although it does sometimes feel like i do have a evil twin, lets call him ´Bad Kieran´ for arguement sake, and when he had the ´Bad chemicals´ going on in his head just about anything can happen and it sometimes does, sometimes.

Had a normal time on the boat, and it felt strange, Em (The Aussie) thought it was funny when i told her i was normally more talkative, for her i was talking a lot. Couldnt really get the words out with a pounding pain (Or in Spanish ´Duele´, but thats spanish) in me ear, nope i didnt feel much like talking. By the time we got back though i was getting out a few words. Yes indeed here come´s an avalanche of words, look out boys and girls, head to the hills, Arghhhhhhh.

Now on to what has to be the funniest thing on the trip, lbatros Sex.
Close your eyes, and try to imagine this folks, got them closed ? ok so, here we go.

Naughty Naughty, i see you


Behind a bush i saw this bird stand on the shoulders of another bird, i´m no expert but i´m hoping it was a female, it would be a bit ermbarrasing for me to know i was cheering on 2 male birds going for it, yep very embarrasing.

After a few frantic moments, to the poor birs below it must have seemed like an eternity it was all over.

Now the macho on top, has what looks like to me a smile on his face, yes he´s smiling , definatly smiling and proceeds to walk away 10 feet there abouts and the other bird does the same and sit looking at a bush, now they are not more than 15 feet away from each other both looking into a bush looking in opposite directions, and the macho on top is still smiling away to himself, i nearly pissed myself laughing.

I dont think i´ll ever forget it, and while everybody else was snapping pictures, Kieran with no camera saw the love scene of the century, if it could be called that, which it can because it´s my story and i´m playing god here, so thats it ´love scene of the century´

Thats it, stop reading, get a life and write a story about it, i did and i´ll probably do it again, so there !

The wonderful thing about tiggers

The Galapagos


Well i know it´s only been a few days, but since it´s hot outside, a bit too hot for me, not that i´m any hottie, it has to be time to be inside and pen some more rubbish, if only for my amusement. So far i am not amused, but it´s still early, and it being early i´ll get on with it as best as i can.

So, went out with Jill and Co on Wednesday, had a nice time, thanks Jill. Jill goes home early, bye bye Jill, see you tomorrow, and i dident know how true that would be.
Then the captain steps in and asks me back to his place for drinks, well i think he did because before long we were back at his place and the drinks were flowing.

Before long, i decided it was time to go swimming. I feel a bit like George Bush some times when i make decisions. I am the decider and i make decisions, that´s what deciders do´ and it´s true because when you are old enough to do this then you are really getting places. I wasnt getting anywhere quickly.

Fast forward to me swimming out the back of the Captains place, swimming around, really nice,¨Oh whats that, some yahts, i think i´ll take a look¨ and on closed inspection they realy were yahts, and what would be expecting out the back of a guys place and he happens to be called ¨The Captain¨ well much fun was had diving off these boats and climbing op to them, it´s a full body work out i can tell you.

Sean from Texas was telling me next day that it´s nor really cool to dive off other peoples boats, they´re some peoples houses and you wouldnt dive off of someones house, good thing that no one was in them i´m guessing. Well nobody told me this and before long i was having a great time

(Authors note: not many people you will encounter in life, this or the next are morning people and you have to be really careful of people of those who are not, well thats the advice that was given to me a few years ago by some old French guy, hello old french guy, there you go, i´m not making this up)

Well after much making noise outside the captains place, you could say i finally got his attention, and to be fair he´s way worse than me. He cherises his sleep, so i had to take off.

My clothes were in his place, so was my money. They were going to have to wait, and in fairness to Jimmy Hendrix, he was definatly on to something when he said ¨I think i´ll wait until tomorrow¨, too bad i was doing my air guitar impression instead of listening, because i now feel like he was trying to tell me something from beyond the grave (Play errie music here)

Got back to the peir and there was nothing else to do only swim and swim home i did. Nice morning for a swim it was too, i´m sure a lot of people thaught the were witnessing some new form of water creature on the Gallapagos and i suppose in a way they were.

I´m still having fun at this stage, there goes the phrase ¨No mon no fun¨, you Sir are wrong, very wrong indeed, very wrong. Because my money was at the Captains.

Got back and i though the best thing to do was tell Jill the full story and let her sort everything out and smothe everything out, remember I am still the decider here and since i´m writing the story i am god too, Why not there´s got to be a first time for everything, and if everything goes to Shit, i can say Ït´s my first day¨ which in a way is true.

Got to Jill´s place and explained the whole story, i did knock. It would be bad manners not to, and after explaining my self Jill went about fixing everything. Hipp Hipp Hurrah for Jill.

After wards i was a bit dissapointed i didnt sing my Tigger song from Whinney the Pooh. Jill had Whinney the Pooh and Tigger too sheets.
After singing the song for her the next night and finding it amusing, Jill tells me that if i sung the song to her i would have gotten a box. Some people just arent morning people i guess.

Tigger song:
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful chaps
They're loaded with vim and with vigor
They love to leap in your laps
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one.

Tiggers are wonderful fellahs.
Tiggers are awfully sweet.
Everyone elses is jealous,
And thats why I repeat...

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Are Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one.
Yes, I'm the only one

Sometimes i think, why cant i be normal like everyone else
Jill last week told me she likes me the way i am and wouldnt want me to change, this is still an opinion she shares, is she crazy or am i ?
Fast forward to dinner last night and some frally good food from Chilie.
Phone rings, Jill answers, it turns out to be the captain wanting me to go back and fix the damaged fly screen, you know your getting bad when the local crazy guy is saying your crazy.

All´s well that ends well and everyone had a good laugh.

Peace out