Went to the wedding of the Planet or just plain old Kerry

I didnt do any of below last Saturday, but i was at a wedding, but if i could, things might have been differnt, or maybe not, we will never know!!!



Well well well

I was going to write something (and don’t worry, I’m not going to try and extort money from you by not, although if you really needed to read these words and I could get a few quid from you at the same time, things would be different and your credit card would be down a 0 or 2, but that’s wishful thinking and that’s not going to happen, maybe not in my lifetime (Here’s a mathematical joke) there you go joke over and you keep your money) and if that was all a bit too much for you, don’t worry, I guarantee you, someone out there will still love you, maybe love you even more because you don’t.

Anyway, I want to show you people some photos first, then I will kill you, not with love or kindness or empathy, all I say is give me time, maybe I will send you to heaven…… before I send you to hell, or have a cup of tea, or maybe I’ll have a sleep and we can so it all again tomorrow, or maybe not.

Going to Canada


50 Cent played in Cork last week and without further adue



Slightly confused ? Dont know what to do ? No Problem...


Wedding of the year you say, were there any photos.
Oh since you ask, here you go, Password is 'cork'
Wedding

Fraying at the edges here, and i'm not doing so well, no stories only feckin' pictures.

So some stories, hung out with Hughie on the weekend, slept in the same room as him, seperate beds, all good (I think we were all glad of that, only joking)

Well anyway went there on Friday night, charged a lash of beers to the wrong room, could have been an innocent mistake, i'm not that innocent, lost that years ago)

Met up with Hughie ahd a great time, wedding went well (Please refer to photos)

Skip to story 21 (I cant remember the others)

I wake up, i'm in 1 bed, Hughie is in the other (Believe me this is a good thing)
I ring reception at 10.45 (I know breakfast ended at 10.30)

Me: Hello there, I'm in a room with 4 walls and i would like some breakfast
Receptionist: Sorry, Breakfast ended at 10.30
Me: But you can give me some food, go on
Receptionist: Sorry, Breakfast ended at 10.30
Me: Go on, Go on, Go on, Go on,
Receptionist: Sorry, Breakfast ended at 10.30
Me: Just bring it up, in a roll if you can, we're wearing clothes and everything, you sound like a nice girl and everything
Sorry, Breakfast ended at 10.30

Cant remember the rest

Then...................

Hughie calls for milk for a cup of tea (And i answer the door)

Me: Hello (Very good way of introducing yourself........ sometimes)
Servent: Hands me a big plate of milk saches (For little cups of tea, at least 15 in fact)
Me: Erra, that wont do him at all (Pointing to Hughie)
Me: He's a Culchie from the country, he milks cows and sometimes he milks bulls
Servent: Says nothing and leaves

10 minutes later
Knock knock (No joke here folks)
Hughie opens the door
Servent hands him a full pint of milk (In a pint glass)
We're pissing ourselves

I drink the pint of milk, it was nice, nothing like it after a big wedding night !!!

Not much to add for here


Oh booked tickets to Amsterdam, will get a bus to Paris, fly to Barcelona (for the second time), but this time i have a friend there.
Then England, then home to Cork, then US, then South America, then Feck, how would i know ?????

Went to Cork V Tipperary Under 21 quater final this evening, Cork went ahead at the 32nd minute and won it in the last minute (Won it by the grace of god) Great evening to watch hurling and have warm lemonade, warm chocolate and chew on 'milky moos' hard sweets that get softer the more you chew. It was like i was 12 all over again in one of the beast evenings Cork will see this summer. Lovely hurling

Peace out

K

Kieran feels like he's in the Truman Show in Stockholm

Well well, it's been a week and we all know what that means.

'You buy a ticket, you take the ride' thats what Hunter S. Thompson once said and since your here, your on the ride, no refunds, keep you hands by your sides at all times.

I went to Sweden and all i brought with me was no expectations, and a bag full of books that i didn't bother reading some of them had pictures so i suppose there was no excuse for me except i was having too much fun, every single night too, not a bad effort considering that most backpackers stay away away from the place like the plague, but that's also the story for the Galapagos and they stayed away from there too, not very smart....the backpackers that is.

Me too, not very smart that is, but no man can be smart 24 hours of the day, a smart man once said that, and by repeating it I'm hoping some of that smartness will rub off on me, I'd doubt it, but it's worth a try.

Basically all i knew about Sweden was Ynwie Malmsteen (See below)



And the Chef from the Muppet show (See below)


What did you do ? What did you do you say, well the first night i arrived, seemed a bit strange the fact i couldn't book any accommodation in Dublin for Stockholm for my first night, but then the words of Dean Morrarity from Jack Kourack's 'On the road' came to mind.

Basically he was saying people when wanting to travel from A to B worry too much about where they will eat, sleep, piss, whatever that they usually end up being deterred about going and don't. But you always eat somewhere, sleep somewhere so don't worry about it, just go, so i did, with his words in mind, and i didn't mind.

Arrived, and tried to find accommodation, i tried, then i said feck it and went for a beer, met some people, went to a club met some more people, ended up drinking beer on the street until 8am and then went to check into the hostel, citybackpackers.se i think.

The helpful and later on became a bit of an issue and I'll get to that too was looking at the sky and then looking at the clock set me into a bit of a confusing state, i call this confusion, if i was i was a physiologist I'd have a better word to describe it that i still wouldn't understand, but some guy sweeping the street in Sweden would, how can their English be that good ? The confusing thing was Do i sleep or wake up, eat, drink (Didn't need any reminding there) ?

The next part of the story is called 'The chicks run the game in Sweden' and this is true. Seemed a bit strange to me anyway that in Sweden, women walk home, cycle home, do everything by themselves.

As one girl said 'Boyfriends, what do we need them for' and the proof of this was the morning of 'Glad Midsummer' they were all walking to the train station, oh yeah, they all pretty much left town, bad weekend to leave town, well so i was told, me thinks not, and for the first time i thought, I've met women who are like me, well except they all look extremely hot, me? Not, well not yet anyway, but I'm trying anyway.

The point is, it's a very very safe city and men are more afraid of women that they are of them, basically it's the complete opposite of Cork which is more like a cross between Mel Gibsons Apocolipta and Brave heart, which had me wondering.
Why is Mel Gibson making movies set in Cork ?

Speaking of Cork, i came back one night and i had to watch this.

Best hurling goal ever




See what i mean, the place was driving me crazy, well my head anyway. It's too perfect and that would drive anyone crazy !
Compared to do whatever you like South America, and I'm going back. I need anarchy, i love it!!

Actually i created a Job profile on Monster.com stating I'd be interested in a job in Sweden, but not too much.
I felt like i was on a Hollywood set half the time and half expecting I'd walk around a building and it would be all cardboard from behind a bit like that Jim Carey big brother movie The Truman Show, very annoying indeed. There all laughing now i bet, I'll bet.

Went out with a hot Lesbian to a club with a German guy, yeah even the lesbians a hot, what the hell.

Here it is, the Vikings came to Ireland, took all our gold, raped pillaged and stole all our beautiful women and now they're in Sweden, i did try asking for them back, it got a few laughs, good trade, beautiful women for a few laughs.
Maybe i should have asked for Magic Beans, that would be handy, i could climb it and get a golden goose.

On a happier note
Got an email from Kieran from Cork, don't get me confused with the other kind (Galapagos) and i could be going to the US well east coast, the west coast is locked in, well at least in my mind anyway.

Peace out for now.

P.s.
Back to the peoples republic today, Cork are playing Kerry this weekend in Kerry, wouldn't mind going, but time will tell, and I'm not in Sweden so i can be guaranteed that if time says 11pm, it will be dark, oh what Joy. Joy to the world, which
reminds me, Handel's Messiah was first performed by Himself just around the corner (Christchurch Dublin)

nuf

Back in Bogota

Hello underachievers, professionals, housewives, skilled workers and un-skilled workers whoever you may be, Apes ?

It´s that time again to drop you a line and let you know how i´m getting on.

I´m fine, and you ? Good i hope ?

Educational movie:



Arrived back in Bogota from Villa de Ayera on a journey that took 5 and a half hours.
Maybe there´s someting wrong with me, and i´m not ruling that out, but everyone tells me that the journey is 3 hours, but it took 5 and a half on a direct bus, maybe i lost 2 and a half hours on the bus somewhere along the road there was a big flashing light and i was abducted.

By Alien´s i hear you mutter ? I hope so, well at least that would explain something, i could claim to be well travelled at least, it´s not everybody they select you know !

Arrived back in Bogotoa, awaiting Alison from New York´s arrival on Monday afternoon.

I was going to go by bus down to Quito and check out the Church in the south, but i just might fly it and feck the church off, i´ve seen plenty. But this church has a good story, and here´s what i know of it.

Story starts:
One fine day, a guy, yes a guy, was out walking, while taking some drugs that altered his precepeption of the world.
When all of a sudden he fell down a cliff, when he stopped falling, which was a good 70 meters he looked up then he had a vision of the Virgin Mary, so what did they do ?
Well they built a Cathedral on the cliff, literally and the altar is where he had the apperation, and that´s why i want to to see the church.
Story ends:

But on the other hand, i´m here to hang out and have fun, so, i´m managing that quiet well, so i think i´ll just continue.

Went out to Cha Cha´s with a crew from Sue last night, but since the girl with directions had the wrong directions
(Authors note: When going somewhere anywhere in fact, it helps having the right directions)

Well it didnt matter anyway, we ended up going to the hard house party around the corner from the hostel and a trip around the city in a taxi, pretty cool huh? Depends how you look at it really, if your a taxi driver, yes. If your paying 8,000 pesos to go to where your already standing, probably not i´m thinking

Afterwards meself and the Aussie Jenny went with the bunch of usual suspects from the hard house club to a nightclub about 5 blocks where they played what i think was techno (Much too fast music with the same fast beat, me dont know)

Today, need to check out a flight to Quito and food, food is good, maybe a salad

I´ve become a bit of a slalad junky, and thats a good thing, now all i need is to get some more good habbits.

Why you might ask am i writing all this stuff, and the answer is simple, i´m listening to ´inthemix Digitalism: Remixes - ITM Exclusive!´ and i need to do someting, so this is it.
I could be doing worse things, it´s just that i cant think of them right now, check my horiscope, in fact i will too.

Here it is:
Pisces
In general this can be a rather productive day especially if you attend to practical and constructive things.
You should also fit in time for some pleasure, whether that's for you personally, the family or with the kids;
some special time will be perfect. Early morning friction should be ignored so that the day can be a happy one

Peace out, i´m off for a happy day, and if i cant do that, i´ll settle for a happy meal

Am i still in Feckin' Quito

A normally conservative Canadian goes wild on a big night in Quito



So I'm thinking, will i write something, wont i, will i, wont i, will i, wont i, alright so i will and so it begins, because as all people know, if you want to do something anything, you first have to start, and so it begins, and thats where we are right now, the start, and we're off.

Well whats happened, had a bit of a dinner party around the corner at the girls place and in disgust i came back to get some real music when tragedy struck.
Someone let in the thieving gypsies in and guess what they done did to me ? Still guessing, well move your eyes to the next line.

Ready ? I'll tell you what they did, the went and stoled my mp3 player, no big deal i hear you say, i don't like good electronic and house music anyway, but i do, thats my point.

It bad enough they stole my mp3 player, they have music no one else in the world has. What a deal, for the thieving gypsies, that is. I don't get anything, no deal for me, just tough luck, and plenty of it, oh would you like a bit more tough luck there Kieran "No no, I've had enough really, i just couldn't have even a little bit more" Tough luck, will 2 bags be enough ?

I hope so.

Well not to get all philosophical, but it could be covered by insurance, and all the music is backed up, yep all.
I helped fix an Australian chicks i pod, job done, gave her some good music, left mine charging, i didn't have to. Hung out with the girls, went to the party, came back, asked everyone, oh bollocks, it's gone, on holidays maybe, maybe I'll never know.

I couldn't be bothered going to the cops, i got my moneys worth out of it anyway, i can get all the music again, no big deal.

Got some good books, no one steals books, Fu$%in illiterate bastards, that will teach them, I'll outsmart them with book reading.

Speaking out outsmarting people. i found my wallet, in the bottom of my bag, as it turns out, i must of came home to the ship and put it in my bag, why you say. It must of seemed like a good idea at the time.

I promised Julie i would stay one extra day in Quito, and I'm glad i was able to keep that promise.
I also promised her i would go and volunteer for a day, well a half a day, but since my alarm clock was on Galapagos time, it was a promise i could not keep.

Bridget did not believe i even made the effort to go, but as it turned out, i left a banana skin on her window. But if she did not believe i even made their effort to go it couldn't have been me ? Now could it ? Nope, defiantly not me. Not my banana, you'll have to remove it yourself missus.

Columbia to morrow, I'm making that promise to myself, no excuses. I've got nothing to lose, no camera, no iriver, no innocence, nothing, I'm off.

Time to stop writing and maybe it's time for you to stop reading this, your only encouraging me. I'm off for an ice cream.