It would be a lovley country, if it had a roof, with insulation !

Seagulls, yeah, I couldn't believe it either



Right, now it's down to business, with Mo Funk telling me things in my ear.

Made a few notes before writing, just so i wouldn't start writing utter rubbish, that maybe you like reading, or maybe not, maybe depending on your opinion, whatever that may be, and on with the show, and so we go on.

Was over in my neighbours house last night, and what now seems like i was robbing the place, then the son 'Dom' walks in, me I'm looking for a post it note, which i found. needed to write down, and here's what i wrote 'Get guide book for Sweden'. 'Why ?' your probably asking, you'll know next week if I'm in Sweden, Malmsteen, I'm coming to see you. If i don't make it to Sweden, I'm going to get the guide book to look a the pictures. Looking no touching....... yet.

This blog entry was supposed to follow a format, so far as yet, no it's not following it, but hopefully we can change this fact, as it is a fact, yet to be disproved.

Part 1, This part i call, Back to living like a baby, which is pretty true, life must have been good as a baby, because i'm really loving it now, did someone mention a wet nurse from China ? No, no one never does, sometimes i cry myself to sleep an night wishing there was,


Bogota demonstration, the students are still at it


Seen a bit of demonstrating last week, well it appears to me that the government of Columbia spends so much money on the army that they cant afford to pay for any education, oh dear! It appears that Pol Pot's dream could live on, only if people were stupid enough to believe in it that it, and they aren't and I'm not.......yet.

Part 2, The Vodafone demonstration, why you do you say ? I'm addicted to sending txt's, i'm not, you are!
What are you on about, well telcos (The ones offering wireless, and that's pretty much all of them are evil, with a 'v', careful use of Microsoft spell check made sure of this, and my brain made sure of that, and some higher creator being made sure of all of this, OK ?
Vodafone want to stick one of their mobile phone transmitters across the road in a church spire, for more reading go here to the story in Melbournes RMIT

Basically the only benefit to having them there is if you want to die young, you will, since i dont really live here it's not too much of a problem, except i
might have to come back more often that anticipated because of people ...errr.... dying.

Don't worry, a campaign is under way, everybody except the anarchists are getting stuck in

Part 3, Kieran rocks into Dom's house and has a rant, which it turns out is funny to me, only Turns out, i went over to the Cummins place to sleep, sleep is a good thing you say, what could go wrong you say, well i drank pretty much all their beer, excess of 5 big beers (Cos I'm a big guy, and big guys need a lot, and a lot of beer)

Now Domonic is 20 years old and among other things i:
a, informed him that i was his new daddy
b, Promoted Australia most vigorously promising it would improve his sex life and maybe his milky white completion
c, Compared his house to 'Upstairs downstairs', him being the servant, Masters lived upstairs
d, Saying his house was great because you didn't have to live with chickens and dogs, which is very true, very indeed
e, Said sleeping in his place wasn't like sleeping in a builders yard
And so on and so forth, you get the idea, i was raving

Now it's for my revenge, because in fairness, Dom said he couldn't take me any more ranting, he had enough. He thought his fancy cigarettes were the 'Bomb' and that's why i was laughing at him, not so in fact. Truth be told, if you tell a particularly long story and you repeat some of it up to 4 times, this is enough for any would be serious guy (I try ans assume him sometimes, only sometimes on serious occasions)

Have yet to go for any walks with the dogs, i suppose that's to do do with my new identity (Kieran Cummins) and staying up at night watching The Wonder years' and 'Gerry Gerry Gerry', then white trash bash each other and rightly so, not hard enough if you ask me, and no one is'

But where has the Spanish gone ? On no, after all my (At times hard work and more often than not, no work) hard learning, it's all going to be stored (Dumped with the other junk) at the back of my head. That wouldn't be such a problem, but i need it again. Hmmmm, might be a need to 'Learn by myself', hmmm big step there, might be 'Stage 2 of growing up'. Stage 1 of course being that 'Mammy doesn't pay for everything anymore'.

Going to some Australian Nirvana gig tonight, that's it, not as exciting as a night out in Oz, but it's an Australian band playing Nirvana.

Recording Dean Cherny's Superfreakin Mashup Mix, he is the bomb

K
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Back in Bogota

Hello underachievers, professionals, housewives, skilled workers and un-skilled workers whoever you may be, Apes ?

It´s that time again to drop you a line and let you know how i´m getting on.

I´m fine, and you ? Good i hope ?

Educational movie:



Arrived back in Bogota from Villa de Ayera on a journey that took 5 and a half hours.
Maybe there´s someting wrong with me, and i´m not ruling that out, but everyone tells me that the journey is 3 hours, but it took 5 and a half on a direct bus, maybe i lost 2 and a half hours on the bus somewhere along the road there was a big flashing light and i was abducted.

By Alien´s i hear you mutter ? I hope so, well at least that would explain something, i could claim to be well travelled at least, it´s not everybody they select you know !

Arrived back in Bogotoa, awaiting Alison from New York´s arrival on Monday afternoon.

I was going to go by bus down to Quito and check out the Church in the south, but i just might fly it and feck the church off, i´ve seen plenty. But this church has a good story, and here´s what i know of it.

Story starts:
One fine day, a guy, yes a guy, was out walking, while taking some drugs that altered his precepeption of the world.
When all of a sudden he fell down a cliff, when he stopped falling, which was a good 70 meters he looked up then he had a vision of the Virgin Mary, so what did they do ?
Well they built a Cathedral on the cliff, literally and the altar is where he had the apperation, and that´s why i want to to see the church.
Story ends:

But on the other hand, i´m here to hang out and have fun, so, i´m managing that quiet well, so i think i´ll just continue.

Went out to Cha Cha´s with a crew from Sue last night, but since the girl with directions had the wrong directions
(Authors note: When going somewhere anywhere in fact, it helps having the right directions)

Well it didnt matter anyway, we ended up going to the hard house party around the corner from the hostel and a trip around the city in a taxi, pretty cool huh? Depends how you look at it really, if your a taxi driver, yes. If your paying 8,000 pesos to go to where your already standing, probably not i´m thinking

Afterwards meself and the Aussie Jenny went with the bunch of usual suspects from the hard house club to a nightclub about 5 blocks where they played what i think was techno (Much too fast music with the same fast beat, me dont know)

Today, need to check out a flight to Quito and food, food is good, maybe a salad

I´ve become a bit of a slalad junky, and thats a good thing, now all i need is to get some more good habbits.

Why you might ask am i writing all this stuff, and the answer is simple, i´m listening to ´inthemix Digitalism: Remixes - ITM Exclusive!´ and i need to do someting, so this is it.
I could be doing worse things, it´s just that i cant think of them right now, check my horiscope, in fact i will too.

Here it is:
Pisces
In general this can be a rather productive day especially if you attend to practical and constructive things.
You should also fit in time for some pleasure, whether that's for you personally, the family or with the kids;
some special time will be perfect. Early morning friction should be ignored so that the day can be a happy one

Peace out, i´m off for a happy day, and if i cant do that, i´ll settle for a happy meal

Where have all the toilet seats gone ?

Probably the most photographed dog in Columbia, his permanent residence is top of the road from Sue Hostel


Didnt think i´d be writing so much in Columbia, but there you go, just goes to show that a lot of things are happening here, not that´s what the English or US government would like you to hear.

I was reading recently, US citizens were advised not to go to Columbia, but in fact Columbia is a lot safer than Washington, a lot. So what does this amazing fact mean you ask, not a lot really, unless your French.

The French have recently signed an agreement with the Guirelas here in Columbia in which no French people will be kidnapped, so in case you are kidnapped, act snooty, chain smoke, demand coffee and crossants and go on about how your cheeses are the best and everything is ´Fuckin shet´, case closed.

I´m in Villa de Ayera today and they are shooting a movie in the square, they shot the first season of Zorro here (No bullets were used, tempting to put some reference to 50 Cents here, but not today)

Tour start´s:
Founded in 1572, Villa de Leyva was declared a national monument in 1954.
A colonial town par excellence, it has been preserved in its entirety -
the impressive Plaza Mayor is lined with whitewashed colonial houses and churches.
Villa enjoys a dry, mild climate and is within easy reach of the capital,
making it a popular weekend getaway for Bogotános.

The Zorro filiming went on for 6 months, from what i know of the ledgened, the Zorro character
is based on an Irish guy in Mexico and if you dont believe me, click here

Tour over:
Other signifant events this week
Signed up with facebook, now i can be part of the ´Buzz´ along with all the Americans (an the people that should have been born in America..... and drafted to fight for democracy)

Saw American Splendor, good movie, one good quote from it was ´Life is about enjoying the ride´and truth be told, been having quite a ride this year and i think it will continue in this manner too for another year anyway, well maybe a year and a half, why stop there, go for 2 years more ok so, i think i will, and it was done.

Fred (Fuckin Fred from France) departed this morning, headed North, bye bye Fred, i´m going South. He was telling me we have been hanging out for 3 weeks, no wonder my Spanish has gone down the toilet, if Spanish was on my School report card the comment would be ´Needs more work, has a tendency to be lazy´

True enough, i´m not argueing with you there love, but as long as i´m having fun, thats the main thing.

Heading back to Bogota tomorrow, will only have 8 days to get back to Quito, should be able to do it comfortably, want to see the church on the steep hill on the border, flying is out of the question.

So what did i do in the Nations Capital the last time i passed through, drinking, partying, meeting crazy people witnessing crazy people, wrote about crazy people, forgot the Spanish i learned and drank coffee.

What will i do if i go back, the same as above, but this time i have a sneaky plan, if i stay 1 night theres no way i can do all of the above, Kieran saves the day yet again.

Been eating lots of healthy food too in the last few weeks, i´ve never been happier to eat salad and it´s all credit to my foot. What happened you ask ? Well i´ll tell you.

In San Cipriani i hurt my foot, i moved on to Salento and not being able to walk far i was able to hobble across the road and buy lots of fruit and vegetables and fried chicken around the corner
Now i´m like a junky for salad, i´ve also accuired lots of new Vegeterian recepies which is a welcome relief from discussing ´Whitch Burning´s´ at social occcasions if and when they do arise.

Switched hostel from `Death Hostel´, why ? They had electric showers, and thats a good thing, or so you would think. The water was pissing out the back of the shower head on to the ´LIVE´ electric cables.
I pointed this out to Fred, Fred pointed this out in his best Spanish to the receptionist well anyway, she thought we were crazy and the first to complain about the fear of electrocution ´I am a westerner´, indeed i am. In europe the owner wold be charged with attempted murder, in South America, they think your over reacting.

Bought new shoes for $11, not bad, they feel like i´ve been wearing them for years and this is day 2, maybe if i was living on Jupeter with them they would be years old (God knows, sometimes i think i am there)
The daze of doing without Cafe tinto are numbered so i´m off for some Tintos (Expressos to you)

The whole country feels like it´s ´Student month´ and this years competetion between Colleges is to steal all the feckin toilet seats, not a very smart thing to do. These people shouldnt be in colleges if you ask me, they should be digging holes in a field, 20kms from any toilet and where the only harm they can do is to themselves.

Packing your backpack for Columbia ?
Along with things you might consider packing in your backpack, would be a toilet seat. Business men looking for a good idea, a toilet seat you can strap on to a backpack, Or if your a cheapskate and like squatting on toilets do that. But i cant see the Queen doing that and i cant see many of her loyal subjects doing that either, can you ?

Kieran

P.s.
A big hello to all my friends on Jupiter

Guinea pig races or is it a Tuesday thing

Two rare illustrations featuring the adventures of A.A. Milne's creation, Winnie-the-Pooh, are to go under the hammer at Bonhams in London later this month. This one is titled "Tigers don't like honey."

Watch this video first



Well well, as you might be able to see from the Guinea pig movie, i saw the most incredible thing since i´ve given up peeing stanging up (I cant hold something that big) today. ´What what what feckin now you say´ The Guinea feckin´ pigs of course. The guy had them lined up on a line and they stayed there, and off they went, it seemed like they were trained not to go into the plastic bowl with money on it, which made the ´Dumb Guinea pig´far smarter than the Author of this story, far far indeed.

Went around the city with an English white guy (I dont discriminate because he´s white), i was hoping i might learn some of the Queens english from him, all i managed to do was confuse people in Spanish every i time i tried speaking Spanish, not good for your confidence i can tell you. Ended up in getting a hair cut for 6,000 Pesos, 3 dollars to all the Americanos out there, styled if you will, from a Gay Columbian guy, i gave him a free reign in fact ´Do what you think is good´, famous last words to Gerrard the Farmer (Last guy who cut my hair, slightly under the influence of many substances too)

Not to the mothers amusement, she did not think it was stylish, my stylist guarenteed me i would find a nice Columbian girl as opposoed to the ones i might normally find with my hair being in it´s normal state, hmmm not sure if i can feel a change, but as the house version of that sex pistols tune, ´...It´s coming some time´ Authors note, FYI, they are talking about Anarchy there so dont get carried away, ok ?

Day 2 of writing this blog (Rome wasent built in a day, Ok, or so i´m told)
Going to a student demonstration with a Canadian when he wakes up, i´m sort of entertaining myself by doing what i´m doing, which right now is including a full stop right here. I think i should get a life, oh what the hell, i´ll put in another full stop, not here but here.

No, i´ll do better, i´ll go and demonstrate about something, the students are demonstrating about something, they are demonstrating (when the Canadian guy wakes up, right now they are probably drinking coffee and waiting for him, a bit like me i suppose, except i dont have coffee, lucky bastards) about the Government.

What you might ask would a government do that might upset the students, well the government want to privatise the colleges and let make other people make money from the students, because they not. Tough shit student´s, or maybe not, time will tell.
So you might ask, whats it like travelling South America, and to tell you the truth i would´nt know, i just hang out in places i find that i happen to like, but one person that seems like she knows is my friend Carola from Barcelona.

Here she is:
I came back to the hostel at 7pm after a fucking long and tiring day at los nevados and the hot springs, took my backpack and left to the bus station. once there i took a minibus to medellin, got there around 1am and had to wait until 5am for my bus to santa marta in the atlantic coast.
But the best part is that the fucking road was closed for whatever reason related to the rain, and we had to take the long way which means that i arrived around 1am after 20hrs on a bus that only stopped once to eat and go to the toilet..... so you can imagine i wanted to kill everyone on that bus, specially the driver and the 3 or 4 babies that spent their time crying and shouting and yelling and screaming......
anyway, i finally got here, spent the whole day doing nothing at the beach, though it wasn't a paradise beach as i thought but a crowded, loud beach full of colombians, with black sand and dirty water :( tomorrow morning i'm going to tayrona national park which is supposed to have beautiful beaches and a little archeological site.... will sleep there on a hammock and then on wednesday i'm leaving to barranquilla to meet my friend and have crazy party nights to celebrate my 25th birthday!

Missed saying goodby to Carola, because i was Watching Apocalypse now, directors cut with the long scene with the French family having dinner, fuckin long, 3 hours and 20, did i say long ?
The French guy was explaining why they did not want to move from the Jungle ´We have lost all the wars, but we will not lose this place´, nice one France
That and of course ´I love the smell of napalm in the morning.......... it smells like victory´

Nahh, travelling doesnt really apeal to me, i´d rather hang out.
What else ?
Going to see Olaf on Friday before he goes home, should be funny
Moving to Sue hostel for the Weekend, i´ve heard a lot about the parties there and there i will be for the weekend.

Still hanging out with Fuckin Fred from France, and lots of other gringos, i think my Spanish has taken a bit of a stumble, but i still might make it over the line, all be it last, but over the line, maybe at this rate in 50 years and i dont think i have that long to live.

Rang home, talked to Coda Callaghan, i asked her if my room was ready in her new house, she said ´Yes´, which was a bit more promising that sleeping at home in Church Hill i can tell you. 4 months ago saying that really pissed her off, and she´s only 3, how people change.

What else ?
My EFPOS card still works, thank´s to the shitty service at the Comenwealth Bank, whome i rang a month ago to cancel my card and have a new one posted out, it never came and i was beginning to think my Auntie Theresa was a bit slack and i got to thinking, maybe they didnt cancel it and the guy in the call centre was more interested in his email or downloading porn, turns out i was right, but how could a bank be that bad you say, they are i say.
Stay tuned
Peace out