Guinea pig races or is it a Tuesday thing

Two rare illustrations featuring the adventures of A.A. Milne's creation, Winnie-the-Pooh, are to go under the hammer at Bonhams in London later this month. This one is titled "Tigers don't like honey."

Watch this video first



Well well, as you might be able to see from the Guinea pig movie, i saw the most incredible thing since i´ve given up peeing stanging up (I cant hold something that big) today. ´What what what feckin now you say´ The Guinea feckin´ pigs of course. The guy had them lined up on a line and they stayed there, and off they went, it seemed like they were trained not to go into the plastic bowl with money on it, which made the ´Dumb Guinea pig´far smarter than the Author of this story, far far indeed.

Went around the city with an English white guy (I dont discriminate because he´s white), i was hoping i might learn some of the Queens english from him, all i managed to do was confuse people in Spanish every i time i tried speaking Spanish, not good for your confidence i can tell you. Ended up in getting a hair cut for 6,000 Pesos, 3 dollars to all the Americanos out there, styled if you will, from a Gay Columbian guy, i gave him a free reign in fact ´Do what you think is good´, famous last words to Gerrard the Farmer (Last guy who cut my hair, slightly under the influence of many substances too)

Not to the mothers amusement, she did not think it was stylish, my stylist guarenteed me i would find a nice Columbian girl as opposoed to the ones i might normally find with my hair being in it´s normal state, hmmm not sure if i can feel a change, but as the house version of that sex pistols tune, ´...It´s coming some time´ Authors note, FYI, they are talking about Anarchy there so dont get carried away, ok ?

Day 2 of writing this blog (Rome wasent built in a day, Ok, or so i´m told)
Going to a student demonstration with a Canadian when he wakes up, i´m sort of entertaining myself by doing what i´m doing, which right now is including a full stop right here. I think i should get a life, oh what the hell, i´ll put in another full stop, not here but here.

No, i´ll do better, i´ll go and demonstrate about something, the students are demonstrating about something, they are demonstrating (when the Canadian guy wakes up, right now they are probably drinking coffee and waiting for him, a bit like me i suppose, except i dont have coffee, lucky bastards) about the Government.

What you might ask would a government do that might upset the students, well the government want to privatise the colleges and let make other people make money from the students, because they not. Tough shit student´s, or maybe not, time will tell.
So you might ask, whats it like travelling South America, and to tell you the truth i would´nt know, i just hang out in places i find that i happen to like, but one person that seems like she knows is my friend Carola from Barcelona.

Here she is:
I came back to the hostel at 7pm after a fucking long and tiring day at los nevados and the hot springs, took my backpack and left to the bus station. once there i took a minibus to medellin, got there around 1am and had to wait until 5am for my bus to santa marta in the atlantic coast.
But the best part is that the fucking road was closed for whatever reason related to the rain, and we had to take the long way which means that i arrived around 1am after 20hrs on a bus that only stopped once to eat and go to the toilet..... so you can imagine i wanted to kill everyone on that bus, specially the driver and the 3 or 4 babies that spent their time crying and shouting and yelling and screaming......
anyway, i finally got here, spent the whole day doing nothing at the beach, though it wasn't a paradise beach as i thought but a crowded, loud beach full of colombians, with black sand and dirty water :( tomorrow morning i'm going to tayrona national park which is supposed to have beautiful beaches and a little archeological site.... will sleep there on a hammock and then on wednesday i'm leaving to barranquilla to meet my friend and have crazy party nights to celebrate my 25th birthday!

Missed saying goodby to Carola, because i was Watching Apocalypse now, directors cut with the long scene with the French family having dinner, fuckin long, 3 hours and 20, did i say long ?
The French guy was explaining why they did not want to move from the Jungle ´We have lost all the wars, but we will not lose this place´, nice one France
That and of course ´I love the smell of napalm in the morning.......... it smells like victory´

Nahh, travelling doesnt really apeal to me, i´d rather hang out.
What else ?
Going to see Olaf on Friday before he goes home, should be funny
Moving to Sue hostel for the Weekend, i´ve heard a lot about the parties there and there i will be for the weekend.

Still hanging out with Fuckin Fred from France, and lots of other gringos, i think my Spanish has taken a bit of a stumble, but i still might make it over the line, all be it last, but over the line, maybe at this rate in 50 years and i dont think i have that long to live.

Rang home, talked to Coda Callaghan, i asked her if my room was ready in her new house, she said ´Yes´, which was a bit more promising that sleeping at home in Church Hill i can tell you. 4 months ago saying that really pissed her off, and she´s only 3, how people change.

What else ?
My EFPOS card still works, thank´s to the shitty service at the Comenwealth Bank, whome i rang a month ago to cancel my card and have a new one posted out, it never came and i was beginning to think my Auntie Theresa was a bit slack and i got to thinking, maybe they didnt cancel it and the guy in the call centre was more interested in his email or downloading porn, turns out i was right, but how could a bank be that bad you say, they are i say.
Stay tuned
Peace out

Black shamrocks and anything i can think of

Two Quechua women exchange blows as part of celebrations for the Tinku Festival in the city of Macha, Bolivia. The pre-Colombian ritual consists of rival villages engaging in hand-to-hand combat that tradition says will secure richer, more prosperous crops in the coming year.


Well hello there it´s that time again to scribble a little note and tell you whats been happening in a world i like to call ´kieran world´

Yes it´s a world where not everything seems real all the time only on the surface and when you scratch a little well some times you can win big cash prizes, like $10,000 thats a big cash prize or $10 or another ticket or just feck all and you walk away feeling like some one has given you a kick in the balls from the 60 yeard line and they´ve missed.

Enough of the sad story, i´m here to talk to you today boys and gurls about black Shamrocks, ahhh the image congurs up romantic notions of the Emeral isle, guinness, the little people (Known to most in America as Leprechans), lashing rain, a lashing of Pints(I´m not making it up) and good Craic (Not the kind you get in America, but equally as addictive)

What does all this mean you say ?

Well, 3 Irish guys were in the Columbian jungle birdwatching
A fact that is a bit hard to believe since they were caught teaching the Gurilas (No the Hairy type.... i hope) how to blow things up.

I know what your thinking, what the feck does this have to do with some lads out birdwatching minding their own business.

The answer to that one is, Ít doesnt, they lied, they are lyers boys and gurls, lyers is what they are in fact, and thius is the tale i´m trying to tell you.

So anyway the boys are in the Capital, their trial starts, representives are sent from the Irish government to make sure they get a fair trial, big intertnatial incident, big news.

And do you know what happened ?
The went and fecked off, thats what they did, and turned up in Ireland 6 months later.

Now i´m windering did they get a photo of the Gorgeted puffleg, a new species of hummingbird to be seen below

Probably not, i´m thinking, they dont seem like the kind of bird to have any ionterest in watching things being blown up, no none at all, which doesnt make them any less interesting, well not to me anyway.

But sticking to the topic of the story, well the first part anyway.

Black Shamrocks, the Military here have hijacked our Shamrock symbol, painted it black and stuck it on their uniform.


Now what can we do, well the words of the Rolling Stones have just inspired me, tell me what you think

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and theyre all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens evry day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin up when your whole world is black
You see, paint it all black and we´re all equal, thanks a feckin´ lot Columbian army, everything´s going to look like a
black anmd white movie.

Dont just sity there, get painting, you dont get paid to sit !!!!

P.s.

If you do get paid to sit, sorry

In Columbia spending too much money

Photo of a gorgeted puffleg, a new species of hummingbird.
The new blue-and-green throated hummingbird species has been discovered in a cloud forest in Colombia, and already needs protection from human encroachment.




Well hello there people non people, monkeys ?
Monkeys:
From one monkey to another trying to type another Shakesphere play, sonnet or story, I´ve been doing this blog for about 7 months am i on the right track or am i wasting my time ? Any of you monkeys with prior writing experience, i´d love to hear from you.

Searching for inspiration, Searching for inspiration, Searching for inspiration, right, found it i think

I suppose the best thing to do here, not hear, but from here is to tell the truth.

Ahh, you say, now i´m finally going to know, yeah you will, but first i´m going to disguise the truth, throw a little bit of sugar on it if you will.
Do you have a sweet tooth ? I hope you do.

Oh did you notice by the way ? I went to the trouble (For your benifit i might add) of putting Google ad´s on my site
The way i look at it, you do some shopping and check out my waffle on a weekly basis, and i know how much people like shopping.

I once went shoppng myself and it was very rewarding too let me tell you, the underware i bought by the way after 4 weeks fit like a glove or like
underware, or whatever, so if you dont mind click on the ad´s so i can make a few quid, if you wouldnt mind, ok niceties aside, on with the story.

Got an Email from my Friend Olaf from East Germany, classic stuff, so here it is

hello grazy boy,
how are you and what doing your ears?
where you ben now?
I am on bogota,tomorow i travling to medellin ,after this to catagena,i
think I am there about the
-------- Original-Nachricht10.05.
you can written wherwe you stay.
good lucky,tahe care and carful for the danger girls
ps.and you los agian samthing?
I hop you understund the mail,but you a clever boy --------

Good stuff, and to all yeee out there, if you send me a good mail, i´ll stick it on the blog too, even mails from girls, midgits, whatever !!

I had a good time in San Capriani, the only way to get there is on a motor bike rigged up on a railway line, spent 4 nights there, great for pratcing my Spanish, if only my english was as good.

Saw a dog in San Cipriani that wouldnt let other dogs pass on the road, alright you say big deal i see that all the time ?
No you dont, not like this anyway

The dog in question was not aggressive and didnt even look at the other dog, it just kept getting it´s way, and he kept it up for a good 15 minutes at a time, a bit of a pain in the ass, if your the other dog.

The same dog, i´m sitting outside the restaurant with the grandmother (and no we wernt holding hands) and all of a sudden i hear a huge yelping and this little dog comes running for it´s life
Then the big stupid looking dog comes out, the grandmother and meself are laughing

I say to her in Spanish, ´Why is your dog looking for love´, she didnt have an answer for me and maybe there isnt an answer. Hmmmmmm

Stay tuned

Nothing is as funny as Albatros Sex, no joke

Well well it´s that time again

What time you say, time to string a few words together, put them into sentences and try
and make sense of things, if that makes any sense.

As from the title of this story you can imagine were it is going, but we´ll get to that later.
Now, what was i going to say, well, since i left you i went on an 8 day trip around the Galapagos, and what a trip it was, except for me getting an ear infection and still popping pills and staying out of the water, luck for me someone on the boat penecillin and some pain killers, or else i was in trouble, funny how long these things take to get better.

Well i suppose that will ´Learn me´ for not taking these things seriously, but then again one of my major problems is not being able to take ´Things´ seriously, and i´m being serious obout that one folks, not sure what the lesson in the story is, but it´s there. lesson learnt. Move on, ok so.

Met an English chick before getting on the boat cruze, and as it turns out, there is someone else in the world that talks as much bullshit as me, and it´s not me or my evil twin, although it does sometimes feel like i do have a evil twin, lets call him ´Bad Kieran´ for arguement sake, and when he had the ´Bad chemicals´ going on in his head just about anything can happen and it sometimes does, sometimes.

Had a normal time on the boat, and it felt strange, Em (The Aussie) thought it was funny when i told her i was normally more talkative, for her i was talking a lot. Couldnt really get the words out with a pounding pain (Or in Spanish ´Duele´, but thats spanish) in me ear, nope i didnt feel much like talking. By the time we got back though i was getting out a few words. Yes indeed here come´s an avalanche of words, look out boys and girls, head to the hills, Arghhhhhhh.

Now on to what has to be the funniest thing on the trip, lbatros Sex.
Close your eyes, and try to imagine this folks, got them closed ? ok so, here we go.

Naughty Naughty, i see you


Behind a bush i saw this bird stand on the shoulders of another bird, i´m no expert but i´m hoping it was a female, it would be a bit ermbarrasing for me to know i was cheering on 2 male birds going for it, yep very embarrasing.

After a few frantic moments, to the poor birs below it must have seemed like an eternity it was all over.

Now the macho on top, has what looks like to me a smile on his face, yes he´s smiling , definatly smiling and proceeds to walk away 10 feet there abouts and the other bird does the same and sit looking at a bush, now they are not more than 15 feet away from each other both looking into a bush looking in opposite directions, and the macho on top is still smiling away to himself, i nearly pissed myself laughing.

I dont think i´ll ever forget it, and while everybody else was snapping pictures, Kieran with no camera saw the love scene of the century, if it could be called that, which it can because it´s my story and i´m playing god here, so thats it ´love scene of the century´

Thats it, stop reading, get a life and write a story about it, i did and i´ll probably do it again, so there !