It's hard to admit it, but i'm white

Have you met come teachers in your time? I'll bet you have, here's my favorite one.

Teaches of Peaches



Made it back, all is going to plan. Plan? There's a plan ?

Leaving las vegas, very nice song carefully penned by Cheryl Crowe, does a similar one need to be written about Bogotá or Quito, there's probably a million of them.

Well what have i learnt, hmmm. Well it would be easier to tell you about what i've forgotten, and whats that, Spanish. Oh yeah, thats what i came here for in the first place. Stay away from Gringos and learn Spanish, well on the upside, i did have a good time and thats important, isn't it?

Start at the start, well i wont but I'll take you back in time to a place i call, last week where many brain cells were fried, and since they fry everyting in Columbia, i think it's a fitting time and location to start the story or what i can remember if it.

I came back from Villa de Ayera, met up with Alli from Queens (Hi Alli, i met another girl from Queens, i could be very well heading your way in a month and then on to San Frnacisco, thank you very much)

Well i can truly say I've been to Colombia, partied on a bit in Bogota, didn't see too much of the city during the day, didn't have to wander too far at night either thanks to the local 'We like electronic music and then house parties if we can find a light bulb' and those ones are the best ones i can tell you, especially if you have a local that doesn't speak any English reciting Spanish to you, don't knock it till you try it.

A repeat effort was attempted, Alli bought a kids Spanish book and she was going to recite it to everyone around 2am, sadly she forgot it and i have nothing more to report on that particular experience, time to dry your eyes and move on.

Hung out with a local Columbian in Bogota Eder (Hi Eder, your government should make you an ambassador for Columbia, Cheers)
Managed to bring nearly everything from the 2 Sue hostels to one of the local House music parties in the bar run by the French girl. Good one, or as Borat would say 'Great success'

Went out with Jenny and Eder and crew later, good night, some club up 5 flights with a perfume shop at the bottom, you need a guide to find these places and i had the best.

Back in Quito now, where are the Cafe Tintos, experssos to you non Spanish speakers. One of the best experiences about Columbia is sitting around and drinking Tintos.
I only started drinking Tintos in Columbia, and now i miss it, a lot.
Did some shopping too, bought heaps of movies, tried to get rid of some books, ended up with more books that i really want and cant say no, 'No, i cant say no, there coming with me, and thats that'

The girls around the corner had a party on Saturday night, i was off to Blues for some Electronic music, the kind you don't really get in Cork, what a blast !!
Got up yesterday afternoon and there was some good electronic musing playing with the sun shining, so i didn't move all day, what bliss.
Funny thing is, if i did it, they would have been running out like their hair was on Fire, '.....a rose by other name' comes to mind, and i don't, not now anyway

Now here we go kids, one thing I've said I'd do for a long time and now we are here
I've been telling people about this movie clip for months, possibly years, possibly light years.

It's Dark side of the moon over Wizard of Oz, seeing is believing, take a break from the world and watch it

I'm off for 'Hornado', roast pork and potato cakes for a $1.50, it's nice, i like, and it's not Sunday either, you can have it any day you like, what a country.

K

Back in Bogota

Hello underachievers, professionals, housewives, skilled workers and un-skilled workers whoever you may be, Apes ?

It´s that time again to drop you a line and let you know how i´m getting on.

I´m fine, and you ? Good i hope ?

Educational movie:



Arrived back in Bogota from Villa de Ayera on a journey that took 5 and a half hours.
Maybe there´s someting wrong with me, and i´m not ruling that out, but everyone tells me that the journey is 3 hours, but it took 5 and a half on a direct bus, maybe i lost 2 and a half hours on the bus somewhere along the road there was a big flashing light and i was abducted.

By Alien´s i hear you mutter ? I hope so, well at least that would explain something, i could claim to be well travelled at least, it´s not everybody they select you know !

Arrived back in Bogotoa, awaiting Alison from New York´s arrival on Monday afternoon.

I was going to go by bus down to Quito and check out the Church in the south, but i just might fly it and feck the church off, i´ve seen plenty. But this church has a good story, and here´s what i know of it.

Story starts:
One fine day, a guy, yes a guy, was out walking, while taking some drugs that altered his precepeption of the world.
When all of a sudden he fell down a cliff, when he stopped falling, which was a good 70 meters he looked up then he had a vision of the Virgin Mary, so what did they do ?
Well they built a Cathedral on the cliff, literally and the altar is where he had the apperation, and that´s why i want to to see the church.
Story ends:

But on the other hand, i´m here to hang out and have fun, so, i´m managing that quiet well, so i think i´ll just continue.

Went out to Cha Cha´s with a crew from Sue last night, but since the girl with directions had the wrong directions
(Authors note: When going somewhere anywhere in fact, it helps having the right directions)

Well it didnt matter anyway, we ended up going to the hard house party around the corner from the hostel and a trip around the city in a taxi, pretty cool huh? Depends how you look at it really, if your a taxi driver, yes. If your paying 8,000 pesos to go to where your already standing, probably not i´m thinking

Afterwards meself and the Aussie Jenny went with the bunch of usual suspects from the hard house club to a nightclub about 5 blocks where they played what i think was techno (Much too fast music with the same fast beat, me dont know)

Today, need to check out a flight to Quito and food, food is good, maybe a salad

I´ve become a bit of a slalad junky, and thats a good thing, now all i need is to get some more good habbits.

Why you might ask am i writing all this stuff, and the answer is simple, i´m listening to ´inthemix Digitalism: Remixes - ITM Exclusive!´ and i need to do someting, so this is it.
I could be doing worse things, it´s just that i cant think of them right now, check my horiscope, in fact i will too.

Here it is:
Pisces
In general this can be a rather productive day especially if you attend to practical and constructive things.
You should also fit in time for some pleasure, whether that's for you personally, the family or with the kids;
some special time will be perfect. Early morning friction should be ignored so that the day can be a happy one

Peace out, i´m off for a happy day, and if i cant do that, i´ll settle for a happy meal

Where have all the toilet seats gone ?

Probably the most photographed dog in Columbia, his permanent residence is top of the road from Sue Hostel


Didnt think i´d be writing so much in Columbia, but there you go, just goes to show that a lot of things are happening here, not that´s what the English or US government would like you to hear.

I was reading recently, US citizens were advised not to go to Columbia, but in fact Columbia is a lot safer than Washington, a lot. So what does this amazing fact mean you ask, not a lot really, unless your French.

The French have recently signed an agreement with the Guirelas here in Columbia in which no French people will be kidnapped, so in case you are kidnapped, act snooty, chain smoke, demand coffee and crossants and go on about how your cheeses are the best and everything is ´Fuckin shet´, case closed.

I´m in Villa de Ayera today and they are shooting a movie in the square, they shot the first season of Zorro here (No bullets were used, tempting to put some reference to 50 Cents here, but not today)

Tour start´s:
Founded in 1572, Villa de Leyva was declared a national monument in 1954.
A colonial town par excellence, it has been preserved in its entirety -
the impressive Plaza Mayor is lined with whitewashed colonial houses and churches.
Villa enjoys a dry, mild climate and is within easy reach of the capital,
making it a popular weekend getaway for Bogotános.

The Zorro filiming went on for 6 months, from what i know of the ledgened, the Zorro character
is based on an Irish guy in Mexico and if you dont believe me, click here

Tour over:
Other signifant events this week
Signed up with facebook, now i can be part of the ´Buzz´ along with all the Americans (an the people that should have been born in America..... and drafted to fight for democracy)

Saw American Splendor, good movie, one good quote from it was ´Life is about enjoying the ride´and truth be told, been having quite a ride this year and i think it will continue in this manner too for another year anyway, well maybe a year and a half, why stop there, go for 2 years more ok so, i think i will, and it was done.

Fred (Fuckin Fred from France) departed this morning, headed North, bye bye Fred, i´m going South. He was telling me we have been hanging out for 3 weeks, no wonder my Spanish has gone down the toilet, if Spanish was on my School report card the comment would be ´Needs more work, has a tendency to be lazy´

True enough, i´m not argueing with you there love, but as long as i´m having fun, thats the main thing.

Heading back to Bogota tomorrow, will only have 8 days to get back to Quito, should be able to do it comfortably, want to see the church on the steep hill on the border, flying is out of the question.

So what did i do in the Nations Capital the last time i passed through, drinking, partying, meeting crazy people witnessing crazy people, wrote about crazy people, forgot the Spanish i learned and drank coffee.

What will i do if i go back, the same as above, but this time i have a sneaky plan, if i stay 1 night theres no way i can do all of the above, Kieran saves the day yet again.

Been eating lots of healthy food too in the last few weeks, i´ve never been happier to eat salad and it´s all credit to my foot. What happened you ask ? Well i´ll tell you.

In San Cipriani i hurt my foot, i moved on to Salento and not being able to walk far i was able to hobble across the road and buy lots of fruit and vegetables and fried chicken around the corner
Now i´m like a junky for salad, i´ve also accuired lots of new Vegeterian recepies which is a welcome relief from discussing ´Whitch Burning´s´ at social occcasions if and when they do arise.

Switched hostel from `Death Hostel´, why ? They had electric showers, and thats a good thing, or so you would think. The water was pissing out the back of the shower head on to the ´LIVE´ electric cables.
I pointed this out to Fred, Fred pointed this out in his best Spanish to the receptionist well anyway, she thought we were crazy and the first to complain about the fear of electrocution ´I am a westerner´, indeed i am. In europe the owner wold be charged with attempted murder, in South America, they think your over reacting.

Bought new shoes for $11, not bad, they feel like i´ve been wearing them for years and this is day 2, maybe if i was living on Jupeter with them they would be years old (God knows, sometimes i think i am there)
The daze of doing without Cafe tinto are numbered so i´m off for some Tintos (Expressos to you)

The whole country feels like it´s ´Student month´ and this years competetion between Colleges is to steal all the feckin toilet seats, not a very smart thing to do. These people shouldnt be in colleges if you ask me, they should be digging holes in a field, 20kms from any toilet and where the only harm they can do is to themselves.

Packing your backpack for Columbia ?
Along with things you might consider packing in your backpack, would be a toilet seat. Business men looking for a good idea, a toilet seat you can strap on to a backpack, Or if your a cheapskate and like squatting on toilets do that. But i cant see the Queen doing that and i cant see many of her loyal subjects doing that either, can you ?

Kieran

P.s.
A big hello to all my friends on Jupiter

Guinea pig races or is it a Tuesday thing

Two rare illustrations featuring the adventures of A.A. Milne's creation, Winnie-the-Pooh, are to go under the hammer at Bonhams in London later this month. This one is titled "Tigers don't like honey."

Watch this video first



Well well, as you might be able to see from the Guinea pig movie, i saw the most incredible thing since i´ve given up peeing stanging up (I cant hold something that big) today. ´What what what feckin now you say´ The Guinea feckin´ pigs of course. The guy had them lined up on a line and they stayed there, and off they went, it seemed like they were trained not to go into the plastic bowl with money on it, which made the ´Dumb Guinea pig´far smarter than the Author of this story, far far indeed.

Went around the city with an English white guy (I dont discriminate because he´s white), i was hoping i might learn some of the Queens english from him, all i managed to do was confuse people in Spanish every i time i tried speaking Spanish, not good for your confidence i can tell you. Ended up in getting a hair cut for 6,000 Pesos, 3 dollars to all the Americanos out there, styled if you will, from a Gay Columbian guy, i gave him a free reign in fact ´Do what you think is good´, famous last words to Gerrard the Farmer (Last guy who cut my hair, slightly under the influence of many substances too)

Not to the mothers amusement, she did not think it was stylish, my stylist guarenteed me i would find a nice Columbian girl as opposoed to the ones i might normally find with my hair being in it´s normal state, hmmm not sure if i can feel a change, but as the house version of that sex pistols tune, ´...It´s coming some time´ Authors note, FYI, they are talking about Anarchy there so dont get carried away, ok ?

Day 2 of writing this blog (Rome wasent built in a day, Ok, or so i´m told)
Going to a student demonstration with a Canadian when he wakes up, i´m sort of entertaining myself by doing what i´m doing, which right now is including a full stop right here. I think i should get a life, oh what the hell, i´ll put in another full stop, not here but here.

No, i´ll do better, i´ll go and demonstrate about something, the students are demonstrating about something, they are demonstrating (when the Canadian guy wakes up, right now they are probably drinking coffee and waiting for him, a bit like me i suppose, except i dont have coffee, lucky bastards) about the Government.

What you might ask would a government do that might upset the students, well the government want to privatise the colleges and let make other people make money from the students, because they not. Tough shit student´s, or maybe not, time will tell.
So you might ask, whats it like travelling South America, and to tell you the truth i would´nt know, i just hang out in places i find that i happen to like, but one person that seems like she knows is my friend Carola from Barcelona.

Here she is:
I came back to the hostel at 7pm after a fucking long and tiring day at los nevados and the hot springs, took my backpack and left to the bus station. once there i took a minibus to medellin, got there around 1am and had to wait until 5am for my bus to santa marta in the atlantic coast.
But the best part is that the fucking road was closed for whatever reason related to the rain, and we had to take the long way which means that i arrived around 1am after 20hrs on a bus that only stopped once to eat and go to the toilet..... so you can imagine i wanted to kill everyone on that bus, specially the driver and the 3 or 4 babies that spent their time crying and shouting and yelling and screaming......
anyway, i finally got here, spent the whole day doing nothing at the beach, though it wasn't a paradise beach as i thought but a crowded, loud beach full of colombians, with black sand and dirty water :( tomorrow morning i'm going to tayrona national park which is supposed to have beautiful beaches and a little archeological site.... will sleep there on a hammock and then on wednesday i'm leaving to barranquilla to meet my friend and have crazy party nights to celebrate my 25th birthday!

Missed saying goodby to Carola, because i was Watching Apocalypse now, directors cut with the long scene with the French family having dinner, fuckin long, 3 hours and 20, did i say long ?
The French guy was explaining why they did not want to move from the Jungle ´We have lost all the wars, but we will not lose this place´, nice one France
That and of course ´I love the smell of napalm in the morning.......... it smells like victory´

Nahh, travelling doesnt really apeal to me, i´d rather hang out.
What else ?
Going to see Olaf on Friday before he goes home, should be funny
Moving to Sue hostel for the Weekend, i´ve heard a lot about the parties there and there i will be for the weekend.

Still hanging out with Fuckin Fred from France, and lots of other gringos, i think my Spanish has taken a bit of a stumble, but i still might make it over the line, all be it last, but over the line, maybe at this rate in 50 years and i dont think i have that long to live.

Rang home, talked to Coda Callaghan, i asked her if my room was ready in her new house, she said ´Yes´, which was a bit more promising that sleeping at home in Church Hill i can tell you. 4 months ago saying that really pissed her off, and she´s only 3, how people change.

What else ?
My EFPOS card still works, thank´s to the shitty service at the Comenwealth Bank, whome i rang a month ago to cancel my card and have a new one posted out, it never came and i was beginning to think my Auntie Theresa was a bit slack and i got to thinking, maybe they didnt cancel it and the guy in the call centre was more interested in his email or downloading porn, turns out i was right, but how could a bank be that bad you say, they are i say.
Stay tuned
Peace out

Black shamrocks and anything i can think of

Two Quechua women exchange blows as part of celebrations for the Tinku Festival in the city of Macha, Bolivia. The pre-Colombian ritual consists of rival villages engaging in hand-to-hand combat that tradition says will secure richer, more prosperous crops in the coming year.


Well hello there it´s that time again to scribble a little note and tell you whats been happening in a world i like to call ´kieran world´

Yes it´s a world where not everything seems real all the time only on the surface and when you scratch a little well some times you can win big cash prizes, like $10,000 thats a big cash prize or $10 or another ticket or just feck all and you walk away feeling like some one has given you a kick in the balls from the 60 yeard line and they´ve missed.

Enough of the sad story, i´m here to talk to you today boys and gurls about black Shamrocks, ahhh the image congurs up romantic notions of the Emeral isle, guinness, the little people (Known to most in America as Leprechans), lashing rain, a lashing of Pints(I´m not making it up) and good Craic (Not the kind you get in America, but equally as addictive)

What does all this mean you say ?

Well, 3 Irish guys were in the Columbian jungle birdwatching
A fact that is a bit hard to believe since they were caught teaching the Gurilas (No the Hairy type.... i hope) how to blow things up.

I know what your thinking, what the feck does this have to do with some lads out birdwatching minding their own business.

The answer to that one is, Ít doesnt, they lied, they are lyers boys and gurls, lyers is what they are in fact, and thius is the tale i´m trying to tell you.

So anyway the boys are in the Capital, their trial starts, representives are sent from the Irish government to make sure they get a fair trial, big intertnatial incident, big news.

And do you know what happened ?
The went and fecked off, thats what they did, and turned up in Ireland 6 months later.

Now i´m windering did they get a photo of the Gorgeted puffleg, a new species of hummingbird to be seen below

Probably not, i´m thinking, they dont seem like the kind of bird to have any ionterest in watching things being blown up, no none at all, which doesnt make them any less interesting, well not to me anyway.

But sticking to the topic of the story, well the first part anyway.

Black Shamrocks, the Military here have hijacked our Shamrock symbol, painted it black and stuck it on their uniform.


Now what can we do, well the words of the Rolling Stones have just inspired me, tell me what you think

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and theyre all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens evry day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin up when your whole world is black
You see, paint it all black and we´re all equal, thanks a feckin´ lot Columbian army, everything´s going to look like a
black anmd white movie.

Dont just sity there, get painting, you dont get paid to sit !!!!

P.s.

If you do get paid to sit, sorry

In Columbia spending too much money

Photo of a gorgeted puffleg, a new species of hummingbird.
The new blue-and-green throated hummingbird species has been discovered in a cloud forest in Colombia, and already needs protection from human encroachment.




Well hello there people non people, monkeys ?
Monkeys:
From one monkey to another trying to type another Shakesphere play, sonnet or story, I´ve been doing this blog for about 7 months am i on the right track or am i wasting my time ? Any of you monkeys with prior writing experience, i´d love to hear from you.

Searching for inspiration, Searching for inspiration, Searching for inspiration, right, found it i think

I suppose the best thing to do here, not hear, but from here is to tell the truth.

Ahh, you say, now i´m finally going to know, yeah you will, but first i´m going to disguise the truth, throw a little bit of sugar on it if you will.
Do you have a sweet tooth ? I hope you do.

Oh did you notice by the way ? I went to the trouble (For your benifit i might add) of putting Google ad´s on my site
The way i look at it, you do some shopping and check out my waffle on a weekly basis, and i know how much people like shopping.

I once went shoppng myself and it was very rewarding too let me tell you, the underware i bought by the way after 4 weeks fit like a glove or like
underware, or whatever, so if you dont mind click on the ad´s so i can make a few quid, if you wouldnt mind, ok niceties aside, on with the story.

Got an Email from my Friend Olaf from East Germany, classic stuff, so here it is

hello grazy boy,
how are you and what doing your ears?
where you ben now?
I am on bogota,tomorow i travling to medellin ,after this to catagena,i
think I am there about the
-------- Original-Nachricht10.05.
you can written wherwe you stay.
good lucky,tahe care and carful for the danger girls
ps.and you los agian samthing?
I hop you understund the mail,but you a clever boy --------

Good stuff, and to all yeee out there, if you send me a good mail, i´ll stick it on the blog too, even mails from girls, midgits, whatever !!

I had a good time in San Capriani, the only way to get there is on a motor bike rigged up on a railway line, spent 4 nights there, great for pratcing my Spanish, if only my english was as good.

Saw a dog in San Cipriani that wouldnt let other dogs pass on the road, alright you say big deal i see that all the time ?
No you dont, not like this anyway

The dog in question was not aggressive and didnt even look at the other dog, it just kept getting it´s way, and he kept it up for a good 15 minutes at a time, a bit of a pain in the ass, if your the other dog.

The same dog, i´m sitting outside the restaurant with the grandmother (and no we wernt holding hands) and all of a sudden i hear a huge yelping and this little dog comes running for it´s life
Then the big stupid looking dog comes out, the grandmother and meself are laughing

I say to her in Spanish, ´Why is your dog looking for love´, she didnt have an answer for me and maybe there isnt an answer. Hmmmmmm

Stay tuned